Gohan in Amestris
by it walks alone
Summary: DBZFMA Xover. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. ChiChi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.
1. Arrival

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:**

it walks alone: (scribble)

BritKit: (dash) (dash) (munchmunchmunchchewswallow)

Mordecai: o.o

freakinCRAZY: (jumps on table and starts cancaning) Can... can you do the can can? Can you do the cancan can you do the can-cancancancancancancan (repeats)

All: o.o

FC: (realizes the WHOLE CAFETERIA is watching) Mweep. (dives under table)

M: (applauds)

FC: (pokes head up) Thankyou. (hides)

IWA: Well, that was... different.

flyonthewall: I have dum-dums! (holds up huge bag)

IWA: Obviously.

M: LOLLIPOPS!

FTW: o.o (runs)

BK: (munches on, oblivious)

FC: Have they stopped staring yet?

IWA: Yeah, now they're watching M & FTW duke it out.

FC: Ohgood. (comes up)

Random Person: Hey it's cancan girl!

FC: o.o (hides)

M: Surrender the dum-dums!

FTW: NEVER!

M: (tackles)

FTW: (gaspchoke)

M: (pauses) Do you know how I spell pi? P-I-Y! I like pie...

FTW: That's nice. Now get off!

M: 3.1415926535!

IWA: ...89793.

M: Dammit!

FTW: (head explodes)

IWA: Anywho, I do not own DBZ or FMA and apparently the FMA creators haven't decided to sell Edo-kun. Or no one has notified me. (pouts)

FC: Can I come out _now_?

BK: (responds automatically) I'd advise against it. (munchmunch)

FC: I don't care I'm coming out anyways. (comes out)

People: CANCAN GIRL!

FC: (hides) Not working my brain is not.

M: Working my brain not is.

IWA: And I don't own Yoda either...

BK: (munchmunchswallow) ... (looks up) Why is flyonthewall dead, freakinCRAZY hiding under the table and Mordecai eating dum-dums?

IWA: (scribble) Don't. Ask.

**Review Responses for last chapter of Alchemy and Saiyans:**

**WildfireDreams:** Of course there's a sequel! You're looking at it! And yeah, I can't watch it, so I'm stuck with the manga. Apparently, the next book doesn't come out 'till _later_ this month. (pouts)

**Suuki-Aldrea:** Well, partially right...

**Vyrexuviel:** I DON'T FRYING PAN PEOPLE! GET THAT INTO YOUR HEAD! Please...

**Yami no Hikari-Chan:** He will, he will... Eventually. And if you don't like the disclaimers, don't read them. My friends would kill me (see flyonthewall's fate in the disclaimer above) if I stopped doing these things, and so would my brother. (shudder) I don't even want to think about that.

**SeaLover456:** Here's your sequel!

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

**Chapter 1: Arrival**

One day, a couple weeks after Ed came back, Mustang walked into his office and stopped short.

Gohan turned. "Hey. Sorry about not telling you in advance. Mom decided this morning."

"What the hell are you doing in my office?"

Gohan cringed slightly. "Mom decided I needed a better education, so she had Bulma send me through."

"A 'better education'?"

"Yeah. I should probably call Bulma now," Gohan replied, taking out some sort of extremely high-tech cell phone and dialing. He waited.

"Bulma? It's Gohan. ... I'm fine. Colonel Mustang just came in. ... Yeah. I'll turn it on."

He got up, walked over to the TV and turned it on. For a moment, nothing happened. Then the screen flashed on and Bulma and Chi-Chi appeared.

"_Gohan! Oh, thank Kami you're alright!"_ Chi-Chi exclaimed.

"Mom! Calm down! I'm fine!"

"If you were this worried about him, why send him?"

Chi-Chi glared at Mustang. _"My boy needs a good education. I want him to learn alchemy."_

Mustang blinked, then turned to Gohan. "You let her run your life like this?"

"Yeah. It's a lot less painful than the alternative."

"Which is what?"

"Her Frying Pan of Doom."

Mustang blinked again. "I thought it was the Frying Pan of Terror..."

Gohan shook his head. "That's Bulma's. Mom's is the Frying Pan of Doom."

"Oh."

"_So,"_ Bulma began, _"do you know anyone who could teach Gohan alchemy?"_

"Someone here?"

"_If possible."_

"Hmm..." Mustang thought out loud. "I'm not much of a mentor, and I _refuse_ to subject him to Armstrong... I guess the only option is Fullmetal."

"_Who?"_ Chi-Chi asked, confused.

"Fullmetal? Edward Elric."

"_Oh."_

"_Why do you call him Fullmetal?"_ Bulma asked.

"It's his alias. He's the Fullmetal Alchemist."

"Alias?"

"All State Alchemists have an alias. I'm the Flame Alchemist. Armstrong's the Strongarm Alchemist."

"Why Flame?"

"Fire's my specialty. I have a set of gloves made of a material that sparks when rubbed together that have transmutation circles on the backs."

"Ohh."

"So, do you want me to call Fullmetal?"

"_Sure."_

Mustang nodded, walked over to the door, opened it, and leaned out. "Hawkeye!" he called.

Riza stuck her head into the hall. "Yes, sir?"

"Tell Fullmetal I want him in my office."

"Yes, sir."

Mustang pulled his head back and closed the door.

"He'll be here. Eventually," Mustang informed them.

"_So. Anything you can tell us about alchemy, Colonel?"_ Bulma asked.

"Well—"

The door opened. "What do you want, Mustang?"

"Ah, Fullmetal. You got here quicker than I expected."

Ed glowered. "Get to the point."

"Touchy. Anyway, Chi-Chi sent Gohan to learn to use alchemy. You're the best choice."

"_Me_?" Ed asked, incredulous.

"Yes, you. I'm no teacher, and I _refuse_ to subject him to the Major."

Ed nodded. "That _would_ be pure torture," he agreed.

"And you're the best alchemist in the military."

Ed stared.

"You're the only alchemist I know of who can do alchemy without a transmutation circle."

"D—did you just compliment me?"

"Don't let it go to your head, midget."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET!" Ed exploded.

"You. Now sit down and shut up."

Ed sat, fuming.

Gohan, meanwhile, had yelped and hidden behind Mustang's desk with his hands over his ears. Now, he peeked over the top of it. "Is he done yet?" he asked in a voice that was almost a whisper.

Both Mustang and Ed turned to him, surprised.

"Why are you hiding behind my desk?"

"I have hypersensitive hearing."

"I see. Fullmetal, don't explode like that around him."

Ed looked like he was about to start yelling again.

Gohan jumped up, over the desk, and to Ed. He slapped his hand over the other's mouth.

Ed yelped. Or tried to. Anyway, he glared up at Gohan, trying to pull the hand off his mouth. He couldn't. So he tried his auto-mail. That didn't work either. Luckily for him, Gohan hadn't covered his nose, so he wasn't suffocating.

Mustang, meanwhile, was watching this amusing spectacle with a smirk firmly planted on his face.

Eventually, he came to his senses. "Let him go."

Gohan obeyed.

Ed staggered away from him, gasping. Then he turned and glared at Gohan. "What the hell was that fore?" he demanded.

Gohan shrugged. "You looked like you were going to explode again, and I decided to preserve my sense of hearing."

Ed blinked. "Oh... Sorry."

"Did Fullmetal just apologize?"

"Don't get used to it, Mustang."

"I won't. Don't worry. Anyway, will you teach Gohan, or not?"

Ed sighed. "It's not like I really have a choice..."

"Actually," Gohan interjected, "you do. The other one just involves my mom's Frying Pan of Doom."

Ed shuddered. "Like I said, no choice."

Gohan considered. "Well, if you put it that way..."

"_So you'll do it?"_ Bulma asked, excited.

"_You'll teach my Gohan alchemy?"_ Chi-Chi asked, equally excited.

Ed sighed. "Sure. I'll do it."

"_Thank you!"_ Chi-Chi exclaimed, looking for all the world like all she wanted to do right then was pounce on the blond alchemist and hug him to death.

"Uhh... Mom, you can calm down now... Please..."

"_What? Am I embarrassing you?"_

"...A little, yes."

Chi-Chi huffed. _"Well, then!"_ she exclaimed, then turned and stomped out of the room.

"Y'know, I think I like this whole being-in-another-universe thing..." Gohan mused.

"Why?" Mustang inquired.

"Normally, I'd have been Frying Panned right then," Gohan replied.

Ed winced. "Ouch."

"Mm-hmm. Anyway, back on a previous subject: So Ed'll be teaching me how to do alchemy, huh?"

"Yup," Ed agreed. "But we'll be starting with the theory and calculations. Oh, Mustang, can Al help?"

"Teach him? Sure."

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Woo-hoo! The sequel has been written! And beta-ed by my muse! And typed! And posted! ...Wow, that's a lot of thing to be done to a chapter... Anywho, hope you like it as much as you did the first one. Gohan in Amestris probably won't be as funny as Alchemy and Saiyans. It'll be somewhat darker. (That's what we planned, at any rate. Can't say just where the actual story will take itself.) But that's just because Ed's world is darker than Gohan's. Anywho, please drop me a review on your way out! And thank you for reading!


	2. Chalk Circles

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** it walks alone, BritKit, Mordecai, flyonthewall, and freakinCRAZY are sitting at a table

(random girl walks by)

Girl: I hate you! I fucking hate you!

Mordecai: OK! (A/N: This actually happened!)

Everyone else: (sweatdrop)

freakinCRAZY: Waka waka (howls like a wolf)

it walks alone: I'm getting scared...

BritKit: Me too. (moves away from FC)

M: What does 'zh' sound like?

IWA: (scribble) No idea.

M: I mean you can't even fathom it!

BK: Boys say the strangest things...

IWA: Agreed.

flyonthewall: (looks up from homework) The Philiad!

BK: ...Beg pardon?

FTW: A book about my boyfriend, Phil!

BK: ...That's nice dear.

FTW: (goes back to homework)

IWA: _Boys_ say the strangest things? Try _our friends_ say the strangest things.

BK: Yeah...

IWA: (scribble) ...How do you spell Colonel?

FTW: Colon-al.

M: Drink your colon-ale: it'll get you drunk!

BK: It's either colon-al or colon-el, but why are you asking me? I can't spell to save my life.

FTW: R-S-8-P-B-E-R-R-I-E, raspberry!

FC: ...I think spelling 'raspberry' is a little hard for Friend #2 over here...

BK: Even _I'm_ not that bad.

M: My hair is non-coherent!

All except M: ... (sweatdrop)

IWA: ...Alrighty then... Well, I don't own FMA, DBZ, ... or any other manga series for that matter and probably never will, now let's get on with the story!

M: Scandinavian monkeys!

**Review Responses:**

**Yami no Hikari-Chan:** Aaaahh, I see. Oooo, a brownie! (pounces on brownie) BK: ...Don't give her any more reason to be hyper. Please. IWA: (pouts, munching on the brownie)

**MarshmellowDragon:** Oh no, you do NOT want a sad Armstrong... (shudder) I don't even know what would happen...

**Vyrexuviel:** Oh, he will. There's just one little problem... BK: Don't give it away! IWA: Sorry!

**Suuki-Aldrea:** Thank you!

**Nausicaafan1:** ... ... I don't think so. ... But then, you never know. (grins evilly)

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

Last time:

"Yup," Ed agreed. "But we'll be starting with the theory and calculations. Oh, Mustang, can Al help?"

"Teach him? Sure."

**Chapter 2: Chalk Circles**

After a bit of discussion, et was decided that since Ed would be teaching him and Ed kept going away, Gohan would go with Ed.

So Gohan followed Ed back to the military headquarters, where Al was waiting for his brother.

"Al?"

"Nii-san! What happened?"

"Huh?"

"You're late! And... Gohan's with you?"

Gohan gave the suit of armor a sheepish Son Grin™.

"Yeah. Mom decided I was going to learn alchemy and the Colonel assigned Ed to be my mentor. So you're stuck with me."

"Oh."

"I can handle myself. The only problem would be food."

Ed stared at the demi warily. "You don't eat as much as Vegeta or Trunks, do you?"

"Probably not as much as Vegeta, seeing as how I'm half human, but more than Trunks."

"Whoa, whoa. _Half_ human!" Ed yelped.

Gohan stared. "You asked Mirai and Bulma about Saiyans, I know you did."

"Yeah, but I never got an answer."

"'Saiyans are aliens'? What about that one?" Gohan interjected.

"Oh yeah! But she never went into anymore detail," Ed complained.

"I see," Gohan replied thoughtfully. "Well, Saiyans _are_ aliens, as she said. They are much stronger than any human could hope to be. They can also fly and use ki, but then any human could learn how to do that with enough training."

Ed's eyes were wide. "Fly? Did I hear you right?"

Gohan nodded. "Yup." To illustrate, he lifted a couple feet off the floor.

The Elric brothers stared at his feet, then at the floor where he'd been standing, then back at his feet, then back at the floor, etc, etc.

Just then, Sergent Brosh walked by with a stack of papers in his arms (probably for Mustang...) that reached above his head (in other words, he couldn't see where he was going at all) and ran smack into Gohan.

"Oh, sorry, Al—" he started, then noticed that what he had run into was not Alphonse Elric, the suit of armor. Like the alchemist brothers, he too stared back and forth between Gohan's suddenly-popular feet and the floor.

"What..."

He never got any further, as he fainted, the stack in his arms falling and coating practically the whole floor with paper.

Gohan sweatdropped. "I think I'll come down now."

As he touched down, he noticed that Ed and Al were still staring at him and rolled his eyes. "You two can stop staring now."

"Oh! Sorry," Al apologized.

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault."

"Can you teach me how to fly?" Ed asked, awed.

"Probably. But I've got to make some progress with my alchemy before I do anything else of Mom'll come over here and start Frying Panning me."

"Ooh," Ed empathized, wincing.

"Yeah. So, can we start?"

"Huh? Oh, sure."

"So, nii-san, what will you start with?" Al asked.

"Hell if I know," Ed replied.

Al and Gohan sweatdropped.

There was a moment of silence.

Ed suddenly lit up.

"I know!"

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Mustang sighed. He had _finally_ finished his paperwork for the day. Rubbing his temples, he stood up and exited his office, pausing only to say good bye for the day to his subordinates. He left the building and froze, eye twitching. "..."

"...The hell?" he muttered, staring at the giant crowd of kids, all clutching pieces of chalk, clustered around Ed and Gohan, who were, by now, in the middle of the street. Al was in the crowd of kids.

There were circles, perfect and not, all over the sidewalk and the street. Apparently, Ed was attempting to teach Gohan how to draw perfect circle. And failing. Not quite miserably, but still failing. Al was the one failing miserably.

"FULLMETAAAAAL!"

Ed looked up.

There was a moment of silence.

"...Shit."

"Nii-san!"

"What?"

Al pointed to the crowd of now _very_ happy kids.

Ed blinked. "...Well, sh—"

Al glared at him.

"—oes. ...I said shoes."

Gohan snickered.

Ed glared at his appointed student. "Shaddup you—"

"NII-SAN!"

Ed glared at his brother. "You know what? I'm just gonna _stop talking_."

Mustang grinned maliciously. "I think that's a WONDERFUL idea."

Ed transferred his glare from his brother to his commanding officer. "...Have I mentioned that I hate you?"

"Not recently, no."

"Well, I do."

"Feeling's mutual. Now, dare I ask just WHAT you're doing?"

Ed glared at the Colonel once again. "Fu—"

"EDDDD!"

"...Screw this. I'm going back to the hotel." He pointed at Al. "You explain."

Gohan looked between Ed, Al, the crowd of kids, and Mustang nervously. "I'm... gonna go with Ed." He reached over and picked said blond up by the back of his coat.

"OWWWWW!"

Gohan looked down at the yowling alchemist in his grip and realized that he had not only grabbed the red overcoat, but also the blond braid. He immediately let go.

"Yaaah! Sorrysorrysorry!"

/Thwump/

Ed just sat where he'd landed, looking extremely miffed, and massaging the back of his head with his left hand.

"Let's try this again, shall we?"

Ed growled as he was picked up once more by Gohan, who this time made sure not to pull Ed's hair.

Ed now resembles a kitten being carried by the scruff of its neck.

A rather _large_ kitten.

Gohan started down the street. Mustang and Al watched, sweatdropping.

Gohan turned the corner and suddenly realized that he had absolutely no idea where he was going. "Umm... Which way are we going?"

Ed pointed behind him. "That way."

Gohan turned around. "I knew that."

"Sure you did."

Gohan and Ed walked (Well, Gohan walked. Ed was carried.) back through the crowd of kids past Mustang and Al (who were still sweatdropping) and out the other way, back to the military hotel.

There was a moment of silence as they turned the corner.

Mustang turned and walked back into the building, shutting the door behind him.

There was a pause.

Then he cracked up.

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About 10 minutes later, Gohan had put Ed back down and the two of them were walking towards the hotel, discussing alchemy.

Suddenly, Gohan's head shot up and he yanked Ed backwards by the shoulder.

Ed was about to start yelling at him when the ground were he'd been standing was turned to rubble. He settled for staring instead.

Someone laughed. "Lucky, ochibi-san."

Ed's head snapped up. "Envy!" he snarled.

Envy hopped down from the roof of a nearby building, still laughing. "Your friend has good reflexes, ochibi-san," he purred. "You're lucky. You'd be in serious pain if he hadn't been there."

Gohan blinked. "Uhh... Ed? Who is this?"

Ed growled, preparing to transmute his auto-mail blade. "That's Envy."

Gohan rolled his eyes. "I'd gathered as much."

Envy smirked, then sauntered over to stand by Ed. He leaned down to eye level with the top of said alchemist's head. "Huh. All that time gone and you still haven't grown any."

Ed snapped. He leaped at Envy, blade drawn and at the ready. Envy dodged easily and retaliated, slamming the heel of his palm against Ed's jaw.

Ed flew back, skidded against the ground, righted himself, and charged at Envy again, blade swinging.

The fight continued much like this, with Gohan standing back out of the way, watching and evaluating the two combatants. Even in mental 'combat mode', though, he was still confused by Envy. _Who is this guy, why is he fighting Ed... and why does he have green hair?_

Envy ducked under Ed's arm, smirking. Both of them by this time, had gotten pretty beat up. Envy was bleeding from multiple slash wounds caused by the alchemist's auto-mail blade and Ed wasn't much better.

Suddenly Envy's foot shot out and caught Ed full in the chest. The alchemist cried out as his breath was forced out of him and he flew backwards, slamming into and cracking a brick wall. The poor blond crumpled to the ground.

Gohan abruptly realized that _Ed was losing. Maybe I should do something._

Envy used the breather to heal himself.

Gohan's eyes widened. _Ed is definitely losing. Y'know, he kind of reminds me of Buu... Aah! Bad memories! Bad memories! Must get Buu out of head!_

While Gohan was attempting to rid himself of his bad memories, Ed staggered to his feet. Gritting his teeth against the pain, he started toward Envy. However, Envy leaped in toward Ed before the blond could do anything. The sin took hold of the alchemist's coat (and jacket, actually) to prevent the other's escape. Then he started beating the blond, grinning malevolently.

At Ed's cry of pain, Gohan's head snapped up (free of Buu-memories) and the demi-Saiyan made up his mind.

Gohan slid between the two combatants, braced his forearm against Ed's chest (to make sure he didn't go anywhere), grabbed Envy's shirt (-ish-thing) and pulled Envy away from Ed, lifting him up in order to remove his grip on Ed's clothes.

Envy, realizing he was moving away from his prey, tried to close in.

A surprised expression flitted across the sin's face. _I'm not going anywhere._ He looked down. _I'm floating._ Only _then_ did he notice Gohan. "...Who the hell are you?"

Gohan turned to Envy. "I should be asking you that."

Ed, complete with bruises, wounds, and ripped clothes, pointed at Envy. "He's a bad guy."

Envy pouted. "Oi!"

"Oh," Gohan said, enlightened slightly. "He's bad?"

"Very," Ed agreed.

Envy pouted some more.

Gohan grinned, a strange light coming into his eyes. "...So... Does that mean I can ki-blast him into next week?"

"Please do," Ed wheezed, collapsing against the cracked wall.

"Nice." That said, Gohan started charging a ki blast in his now-free hand.

Envy's eyes widened. "...Well shit, this is new."

Someone in the shadows laughed. "What's wrong, Envy? Is he too much for you?" a woman asked.

Envy grimaced. "Oh, hey, Lust."

Gohan turned and saw Lust. His eyes widened and he blushed bright red.

Lust smirked. "Hello, gorgeous, whachya got there?"

Gohan now resembled a tomato with black hair.

Envy noticed this ans smirked. "So... He's chivalrous. Yes! No pain!" And with that he transformed into a very... whore-ish girl.

Gohan's eyes widened even more.

"..."

He dropped Envy, spun around, grabbed Ed, and flew off so fast it looked like he teleported.

"..."

Envy shifted back to his normal form.

"...Well, that was..." He trailed off.

"Interesting?" Lust supplied.

Envy shrugged. "I was gonna say weird, but that works."

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Yay! Chapter 2 done! The odd thing about this story is that I have the ending plot all written out (courtesy of my muse, BritKit), but none of the intervening stuff. So I know where this story'll wind up, but I have no clue as to how it's going to get there. Weird, huh? Anywho, please leave me a review on your way out.


	3. Sinful Explanations

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** it walks alone, BritKit, Mordecai, flyonthewall, and freakinCRAZY are sitting at a table

it walks alone: (scribble scribble)

BritKit: (munch)

flyonthewall: (doing homework)

freakinCRAZY: So, IWA, you keep mentioning your "Lunch Bunch". Who are they?

IWA: (looks up) Hwa?

FC: (shakes head) You are hopeless. Who are your "Lunch Bunch"?

IWA: Oh, them. The people I sat with during lunch in eighth grade.

BK: What were they like?

IWA: (thinks) Well, the best time I can remember them was the first time I got killed at the lunch table...

Mordecai: O.o You got killed?

IWA: Yup.

(flashback begins)

IWA, Beary, Cygnus, Taro, and Kit are sitting at a lunch table

Seating arrangements: (windows to left)

Beary - Taro - Cygnus

Kit - empty - it walks alone

Taro: (gets up to throw out lunch tray)

Everyone else: (sits)

(silence)

Beary: (falls over) (hits window) Ow. (falls over in other direction) (head hits Cygnus' styrofoam tray)

(tray flies up to a 45º angle)

it walks alone: (is drinking) (cracks up, trying not to spray everyone)

Kit: Huh? (looks over) (cracks up)

Cygnus: Did we kill her? (cranes his neck, looking at IWA) Yup. We killed her.

B: (was cracking up) (cracks up harder)

K: (still cracking up)

IWA: (STILL cracking up)

K: Don't die!

IWA: (coughing into juice box)

T: (comes back) (stops) o.O I don't think I want to know...

K: No, you don't.

IWA: (still coughing)

B: (still fallen over) (points at IWA) Cygnus killed her!

IWA: (manages to stop choking) No, both of you did!

T: ...Um, can I have my seat back, Beary?

B: (head is still on Cygnus' tray) Huh? (realizes she's STILL fallen over) Oh, sure. (tries to sit up) (falls back onto Cygnus' lap)

All: (cracks up)

B: (tries AGAIN to get up) (finally manages to sit up straight)

T: (bows slightly) Arigato.

K: Stop speaking Japanese! You know none of us can understand it!

T: It means "thank you".

K: I know that!

B: Is she still dead?

All except IWA: (turns to IWA, who's bent over with her head on the table)

C: I think so. (pokes IWA)

IWA: I am NOT!

B: Oh. Okay then!

K: (points at Cygnus) I challenge you to a Random Joust!

C: Okay. Green ink!

K: American cheese!

C: Giant monkey face!

K: What the hell?

C: I win!

IWA: Whee.

B: (admires binder (on which there are many pictures of Spock)) Aren't Spock and Kirk cute together?

T: (inches away from Beary) (nearly falls off his seat)

Kit & IWA: (crack up)

C: (starts humming)

(flashback ends)

BritKit, Mordecai, flyonthewall, & freakinCRAZY: o.o

IWA: Yup. That was the first time I was killed at the lunch table. (thinks) Let's see.. The other one, Cygnus said something Cygnus-ish, and killed all four of us at once.

BK: Wait, Cygnus-ish?

IWA: Random and hilarious.

FC: Oh, you mean like Mordecai.

IWA: (thinks) Yeah, just about.

M: (stares) Beary's randomer than I am!

IWA: Randomer? RANDOMER? (leaps around table at Mordecai) USE NORMAL ENGLISH!

M: o.o (leaps up) (runs away)

IWA: (chases)

BK, FC, & FTW: o.O

FTW: Wow.

FC: Today must not be one of IWA's better days...

M: (runs by)

IWA: (chases, screaming "NORMAL ENGLISH!")

BK: (sweatdrops) (turns to readers) Anyway, IWA doesn't own FMA or DBZ. And hopefully never will.

IWA: (in distance) I HEARD THAT!

FC: So what happened to those people?

BK: (shrugs)

FTW: I dunno.

(paper airplane flies in, landing on table)

FC: (picks up airplane) (opens it) (notices there's something written on it) (reads) "Taro moved to New Jersey halfway through eighth grade. Beary, Cygnus, and Kit go to the other high school." (looks up) Well, that answers that question.

IWA: (runs by, still chasing Mordecai) You're welcome!

BK, FC, & FTW: (sweatdrop)

**Review Responses:**

**Yami no Hikari-Chan:** Yup. Amusing isn't it?

**Vyrexuviel:** ...I have no response to that.

**SeaLover456:** Continuing!

**Suuki-Aldrea:** ...Well, I haven't ever seen him NOT distracted by something during a battle...

**ss5-gohan:** Thank you for the compliment!

**rosesRred16:** Thanks!

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

Last time:

"...Well, that was..." He trailed off.

"Interesting?" Lust supplied.

Envy shrugged. "I was gonna say weird, but that works."

**Chapter 3: Sinful Explanations**

Somewhere above Central:

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

Cohan, carrying Ed, was flying through the air at normal speed for him (which was insanely fast for the poor Edo-kun) several hundred feet above very hard buildings that were probably made of cement. (Cement that Ed did _NOT_ want to meed anytime soon.) And cringing from the screaming Ed.

"Calm down!" Gohan yelled. "If you keep screaming like that, I'm _going_ to drop you!"

Ed shut up immediately.

Gohan sighed with relief. "Okay. Now where is the military hotel?"

"I DON'T KNOW! DO YOU THINK I'D KNOW THE AERIAL VIEW!" Ed exploded.

Gohan winced. "Sorry!"

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After checking where the Sins were and landing on the other side of the city, Gohan turned to Ed. "Okay, Ed. We're on the ground. Where are we?"

Ed looked around. "Good question."

Gohan sweatdropped.

"Oh, wait! I know where we are!"

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The two teens finally made it back to the military hotel.

"So who were those people? Or more to the point, _what_ were they?" Gohan asked.

"Who, Envy and Lust?"

Gohan blinked. "Uhh... The one you were fighting and the woman."

"Envy and Lust. They're homunculi, named after the seven cardinal sins: Envy, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Sloth, and Pride."

Gohan blinked, then snickered. "Well, if Vegeta were one, I know which one he would be."

Ed's eyebrow went up. "Oh?"

"Pride."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Obviously. Anyway, they're failed human transmutations."

Gohan stared. "Wait, transmutations? You mean they're products of alchemy?"

Ed nodded. "Yeah. Human transmutation is forbidden, and with good reason," he concluded sadly, turning his gaze to his right hand.

"So _that's_ how you lost your arm and leg..." Gohan murmured.

"And Al his whole body," Ed agreed. He turned to Gohan determination shining in his eyes. "I _will_ return Al to his real body, no matter what. _No matter what._"

Gohan nodded. "You will."

Ed looked up, hopeful.

"You're not alone. Never forget that." Gohan smiled and put his hand on Ed's shoulder. "You don't have to do this alone."

Ed smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Gohan. I needed that."

Gohan grinned. "Now, about these homunculi... Is there anything I should know?"

(A/N: I have no idea about 4 of the seven sins, since I've only read the manga. FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED! Please enlighten me as to the homunculi!)

Ed grimaced. "Well, the two you've met—Lust and Envy—are the two I usually see the most. Lust's claws can extend, and Envy's a shapeshifter."

Gohan blinked. "I'd figured that part out already."

Ed snickered. "Anyway, they have no souls and take joy in killing."

"Oh, so _that's_ why they felt twisted. I get it."

Ed stared at Gohan strangely. "...Felt?"

Gohan looked up, confused. "Oh. Oops. I didn't explain that?"

Ed glared.

"Sorry," Gohan apologized, giving Ed a Sheepish Son Grin™. "Well, Saiyans can sense a person's energy. It's called 'ki. Each person's is different, so I can locate anyone I know just by finding where their ki is. It can also be suppressed so people don't notice you. Conversely, one can power up and make their ki stronger."

"Would anyone be able to tell if you were powered up?"

Gohan laughed. "Since I'm a Saiyan, and powering up includes going Super Saiyan, of course."

"Super Saiyan?"

Gohan nodded. "Yup. My hair turns blond and spikes up, my eyes turn turquoise, and the air around me lights on fire."

Ed's eyes widened.

"Also, powering up suddenly can act like an explosion." Catching sight of Ed's now-skeptical expression, the demi-Saiyan elaborated. "It's happened before. When Cell first powered up to full at the Cell Games, it nearly knocked me off my feet."

Ed's jaw dropped. "Wow... So, since you've met Envy, can you find him at any time?"

"Well, yeah, but I'd rather not."

"Why?"

"Like I said before, his ki is twisted. He's got something like human ki, but it's been corrupted or warped."

Ed nodded in understanding.

"And I kinda get the same feeling from Al. It's like he's human, but there's something... wrong. Something missing. It's not as bad as the sins, but it's still strange. And to tell you the truth, my first impulse is to block it out."

"Why?"

"You know that feeling when you have an itch you can't scratch? Or when there's something wrong and it's bugging the hell out of you but you can't place it? It's basically the same feeling. I get that whenever I sense one of them."

"Oh." Ed considered this new revelation. "But wait a minute! We normally can't tell if Envy's shapeshifted, but you can sense him even if he's wearing another body, right?" Ed asked, suddenly excited. "You'll be able to warn us if he's nearby! Or any of the homunculi, for that matter!"

"Yeah..."

Ed was enthusiastic. "We won't have to worry about the homunculi anymore!"

Gohan grimaced. "Well, about being surprised by them, anyway."

000000000000000000000000000000

Chapter 3 written! Cool! And as to the disclaimer, it actually happened. The flashback part, anyway. I just embellished it a bit. I've found that disclaimers that are based on what has actually occurred are funnier, but that could be just me. Anywho, please leave me a review on the way out.


	4. Morning to you, too

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** it walks alone, flyonthewall, and Mordecai are sitting at a table

freakinCRAZY: (walks in)

flyonthewall: Guess what?

FC: Chicken butt! IWA, your hair looks really good.

it walks alone: I am just going to notify all of you that my hair (which used to be down to my waist) ends just below my shoulders now. It got cut.

FTW: (to FC) Your mom has chicken butt.

BritKit: (runs in) (drops backpack) Guess what? I just found out that my Spanish teacher has been calling me "pumpkin" for a year and a half and _I didn't know!_

IWA: (cracks up)

Mordecai: Go crazy? Don't mind if I do! (dashes off)

FC: Someone should go get him.

BK: Probably.

All: ...

IWA: Eh. Don't bother. He'll come back eventually. Oh, and I STILL don't own FMA and DBZ.

**Review Responses:**

**Yami no Hikari-Chan:** Thanks, I wasn't sure if I'd gotten it all right.

**Suuki-Aldrea:** Updating!

**MarshmellowDragon:** Well, thanks! Since I've read a lot of FMA fanfics, I've kind of picked up that much about them. Well, except Greed. And that one fact about Pride.

**Vyrexuviel:** Aww, c'mon! Kice is cute!

**shadow-k9:** Updating!

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

Last time:

Ed was enthusiastic. "We won't have to worry about the homunculi anymore!"

Gohan grimaced. "Well, about being surprised by them, anyway."

**Chapter 3: Morning to you, too.**

Gohan and Ed walked into the military hotel. Gohan looked around.

"So this is where you live, huh?"

Ed shrugged. "When we're here."

"Travel a lot?"

Ed shrugged again. "It's a job. C'mon, I'll show you your room."

Just then, the door burst open and Al bolted through. He slammed the door shut and leaned against it. Then he noticed Ed.

"NII-SAN! How could you leave me there! You left me alone with all those kids!"

"Yeah, about that..."

Gohan started fidgeting.

"...I'm sorry, but Mustang wasn't going to let up on me and it wasn't really my fault. Gohan picked me up and left."

Gohan's fidgeting increased in intensity.

"But you were going to leave anyway!"

"IthinkI'llbegoingtomyroomnowbye!" Gohan dashed out of the room.

Ed and Al turned to the empty doorway.

"...His room? I hadn't even gotten a chance to show him which room was his..."

Al was scared-chibi-ized. "Did I do something wrong?"

Ed shook his head. "No."

Al looked at his brother, confused. "Huh?"

"He can sense people's energy. Since you don't have a real body, your energy is kind of different, and apparently, it grates on his nerves."

Al stared at him.

"I don't get it either."

"Oh," Al replied in a small voice.

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The next morning:

Ed and Al were in the kitchen. Ed was sitting at the table with a steaming mug, reading through something. Al was busy cooking breakfast. (It's kinda funny to see a suit of armor wearing an apron.) Ed had already eaten, but Gohan had yet to wake up. (Think.)

Ed looked up when he heard shuffling coming from the general direction of Gohan's room.

/thump/

/groan/

/shuffle shuffle/

/thump/

/groan/

/shuffle shuffle/

Both Ed's and Al's eyes were wide by this point.

Ed sniffed. "Uhh, Al? ...Your eggs are burning."

"Eh? Aaah!" Al started feverishly trying to save his eggs from torching.

/shuffle shuffle/

/thump/

/shuffle/

/thump/

/groan/

/shuffle/

Gohan stumbled past the kitchen doorway.

/shuffle/

/thump/

/shuffle/

Gohan walked toward the kitchen doorway...

/thump/

...and ran headfirst into the door frame. He groaned.

He stumbled into the kitchen, bypassed the table, and ran into the refrigerator. Al took pity on him, took the sleep-walking demi-Saiyan by the shoulders, and gently pushed him into an empty chair at the table. Gohan promptly fell forward onto the table and started snoring.

The brothers sweatdropped.

Al turned back to the stove, stuck a spoon in the pot of oatmeal, picked it up, and plonked it down in front of Gohan.

The demi stopped snoring, looked up with glassy eyes, grabbed the pot, pulled it closer, yanked the spoon out, and promptly began shoveling the food into his mouth.

Ed and Al sweatdropped.

The phone rang.

They jumped. Gohan didn't notice, as he was still stuffing his face.

It rang again.

"Nii-san, get the phone."

"Why should I?"

"I can't!"

"Why?"

"I'm busy!" Al replied, brandishing a spatula at his brother before turning back to his rapidly charring food.

/ring/

"And Gohan..." They turned to Gohan, who was still mechanically shoveling food into his mouth, and sweatdropped.

/ring/

Ed threw his hands in the air. "Alright, alright, I'll get it!" He stalked over to the phone and picked it up just as it started ringing again. "Blasted phone... Can't even wake Gohan up... What the hell do you want?"

"_Why, hello, Fullmetal. Beautiful day, isn't it?"_

"Mustang..." Ed growled.

"_What I don't understand is how anyone could stand to be inside when it's so nice out."_

"You have 5 seconds, then I'm hanging up."

"_Touchy. Anyway, I'll be leaving for a few days. I've been called to do some inspecting. I'll be back in three days."_

"And you called to tell me this?"

"_But of course!"_

"You just live to piss me off, don't you?"

"_That is one of my few on-the-job amusements, yes."_

"MUSTANG YOU—" /click/ "—BASTARD! YOU ANNOY ME ALL DAY AT HEADQUARTERS, THEN YOU HAVE THE GALL TO CALL ME WHEN I'M OFF DUTY AND YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME RANT AT YOU! WHO DIED AND MADE YOU GOD!"

"Uhh... Nii-san, the line is dead," Al said, handing the still-asleep Gohan a cup of coffee.

"I DON'T CARE! IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER!"

He slammed the phone down.

Gohan, noticing that he had a cup of something warm in his hand, drained it. He put his head down immediately after finishing.

Ed stomped back to the table and sulked into his mug of hot chocolate.

About a minute later, Gohan's head came up, and he looked around, blinking.

"Hi Al. Hi Ed. ...My head hurts..."

The Elric brothers sweatdropped.

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Yes, I know, short chapter. But hey, it's up soon, isn't it? ...And poor Gohan, having memorized the floor plans of his house, not the hotel room, kept running into walls... ...And he doesn't remember any of it... Isn't torturing him fun? Anywho, please leave me a review on your way out.


	5. Revenge of the Lieutenant

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** freakinCRAZY, BritKit, and it walks alone are sitting at a cafeteria table

freakinCRAZY: (works on homework)

it walks alone: (scribble scribble)

BritKit: (scribble scribble pause) ...Ya know...

IWA: Hmm?

BK: It's getting easier to write Envy...

IWA: Mm-hmm...

BK: It's a bit like writing you...

IWA: (pause) ...Is that a compliment or an insult?

BK: I'm not sure... I mean he _is_ a bad guy...

IWA: But I _like_ Envy!

BK: I like his _hair_...

IWA: (laughs) Envy is a _palm tree!_

FC: (shoots BK & IWA a weird look)

BK: But it's all _long_ and stuff...

IWA: He's still a palm tree!

BK: ...However the miniskirt isn't working for me.

FC: (perks up at the word "miniskirt", then goes back to homework)

IWA: I think he wears short under it. Skintight shorts.

BK: ONE WOULD HOPE! That and the whole belly shirt.

IWA: Halter top.

BK: It's a halter top? But you can see his whole stomach...

FC: (realizes what she's hearing) Waitasecond _HE?_

BK: Yup. Envy's the bad guy. He wears a miniskirt and a belly shirt.

IWA: Halter top.

BK: Halter top slash belly shirt. And boots—Does he wear boots?

IWA: No. He has cloth wrapped around his feet.

BK: Oh. No boots then.

IWA: Nope.

FC: This is the BAD GUY?

BK & IWA: Yup.

FC: o.o

IWA: I think I drew a picture of him in my English packet... (opens docket, starts taking papers out) (flips through papers) Nope... (keeps taking papers out)

(Paper pile grows)

FC: ... (sweatdrop) You don't _have_ to show me...

IWA: (from behind papers which reach over her head) But it's here somewhere...

BK: ...It walks alone?

IWA: Yes?

BK: How do you fit _that_ (gestures to the pile of papers o' doom) into a 2-inch wide docket?

IWA: ...Trade secret. And I still don't own DBZ, FMA, Ed, or Envy. And probably never will. (sighs)

BK: There there... It's OK... (pats IWA on the back)

**Review Responses:**

**Yami no Hikari-Chan:** I don't _live_ for it, per se, but it's a benefit!

**Vyrexuviel:** Well, she _is_ cute. Doesn't mean I have to like her. But you haven't given me any reason not to, so... Anyway, the door is alchemically reinforced. What would you expect, with Ed living there?

**WildfireDreams:** Manga, if I can. But I have started buying the anime, so some aspects of that may show through.

**Kunoichi Fukanaga:** Feel free to do that manga! I'd love to see it! (So would my friends...) ..And sorry, but I'm not really into Elricest...

**audreonna:** Well, thanks! It's supposed to be funny, so if you're laughing the whole time, that's a good thing!

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

Last time:

"Hi Al. Hi Ed. ...My head hurts..."

The Elric brothers sweatdropped.

**Chapter 5: Revenge of the Lieutenant (BK: Dun dun dunnnn... IWA: Get out of my title, you! (chases BK with a very blunt object))**

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, carrying a new stack of paperwork for Mustang, walked up to his office and pushed the door open.

"Sir, I have so—" She cut herself off, staring at the rather large stack of paperwork on top of Mustang's desk. Said Colonel was nowhere to be seen.

Riza slowly walked forward and picked up the top sheet from the pile. It was a note to her from the Colonel.

"_Lieutenant,_

"_I'm sorry about this, but I've been called off to do some inspecting in a small town in the East area. I'll be back in a few days. Until then, as it would be completely impractical to send me any paperwork that happens to accrue, I'm leaving it to you." _Riza's eye twitched. _"I'm sure you'll do an excellent job._

_Colonel Roy Mustang"_

Riza stared at the note for a minute.

She put the note back on the pile, added Mustang's previous pile to hers, then turned and walked out, planning to do the paperwork in her own office.

She also made sure to post a notice on Mustang's door that said to send anything requiring the Colonel's signature to her.

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The next day, Al went to visit Riza and Black Hayate while Ed and Gohan visited Major Armstrong (and, incidentally, Hughes) for advice on what to teach the demi-Saiyan. Needless to say, Gohan was soon being tormented by pictures of Elicia, all the while sweatdropping hugely. _Is this what Mom is like to people outside the 'family'? Well, definitely more violent, but..._

Meanwhile, Ed and Armstrong were, in essence, gossiping (with Hughes' occasional input) about how pissed Riza's going to be when Mustang gets back ("Come on, she's not gonna get any _more_ pissed than she already is!") and how dead Mustang's going to be when he gets back. ("Swiss cheese." "Yup." "Mm-hmm.")

Gohan was still sweatdropping.

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That night, Al was cooking, (obviously... I mean, they have a Saiyan in the house!) Ed was teaching Gohan, (or attempting to, anyway...) and Gohan was learning. (Again, trying to.) Alchemy was much more difficult than anything he'd taken before.

Suddenly, the phone rang, causing everyone to jump.

"Nii-san, could you get that?"

"Sure." Ed got up from the table, (which was half-submerged under alchemy papers and books) walked over to the phone, and picked it up. "Yeah?"

"_Ahh, Fullmetal."_

"Well, if it isn't Colonel Sarcasm. What the hell do you want?"

"_I'll be getting back early. In other words, tomorrow. I want you to meet me in my office as soon as I'm back."_

Ed growled. "I hate you. Fine."

/click/

000000000000000(Yeah, I know, lots of breaks. Deal with it.)000000000000000

By 10:00 AM the next day, Ed was being bored in Mustang's office, Gohan was somehow awake and with Armstrong and Havoc, Al was off visiting Black Hayate again, and Envy was sneaking into the military HQ. Through a window, no less.

000000000000000Envy's POV000000000000000

_Let's see... I'm trying to figure out where ochibi-san will be... so I need to find a folder or something..._

Envy smirked and knocked out a random military person who had a folder. _This looks important._ He shifted into a street-person's form with one major distinction: the person was now wearing a military uniform.

Envy started wandering around. _Let's see... Flame Colonel's office..._

About twenty minutes later, he was still wandering.

_Well, crap. I have no idea where I'm going. And I think I've seen that piece of wall before..._

He stopped a woman going the other way. (Sheska, actually .)

"Excuse me, but could you tell me the way to Colonel Mustang's office please?" he asked her, inwardly screaming at himself for asking help from a human and restraining his urge to kill her. (BK: Supposedly it's fatal for men to ask directions. IWA: THAT would explain a lot.)

"Oh, sure!" she chirped. "Go to the end of this hallway and take a right. It's the big double doors on your left. You can't miss 'em. But the Colonel's not here right now. If you've got something for him to sign, give it to First Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Thanks!" Envy called over his shoulder, already walking off. "I'll do that."

"Hey... I've never seen you around here before..."

He waved. "I'm new!"

00000000000000Ed's POV0000000000000000

_Soooo... booored... Why couldn't Mustang say WHEN he was gonna get here!_ Ed glanced up and saw the desk. An evil grin formed. _Hmm..._

000000000000000Envy's POV000000000000000

_Okay... End of the hall... Take a right... Big double—Bingo!_

Envy pressed his ear to the door. _Let's see... Anyone in there?_

000000000000000Ed000000000000000

_Crap... Crap... Crap... Damn. Why doesn't Mustang keep any interesting papers in his desk?_

Ed scowled as he tossed another paper back in the drawer it came from.

_...And now I'm even more bored._

_Well... Nothing's in there, so I guess it's clear,_ Envy thought.

The sin slowly started to open the door.

Ed hearing the door start to open, looked up.

_Shit!_ he thought, shoving loose papers back in their drawers and darting behind the door.

_Mustang wouldn't sneak into his own office! I can usually hear him all the way down the hall!_

Envy poked his head in. _No one there... No one there..._ He spotted the desk. _jackpot!_

He trotted over to the desk, dropping the disguise on the way, and started going through the desk, much like Ed had just done.

Ed, meanwhile, had nearly choked when Envy shifted back into his own form.

_Holy shit! It's Envy! Damn, where's Gohan when you need him!_ he thought frantically. He clapped his hands softly so Envy wouldn't notice, then transmuted part of the wall into a spike shooting straight at Envy's back.

Envy's head turned a bit, and he jumped over the spike, which crashed through Mustang's _fourth_ desk in only a couple weeks and the window. Poor desks. Poor _Mustang_.

Envy landed on the spike, facing Ed. "Ha ha, what's wrong, ochibi-san? You missed."

"Shut up, Envy! What are you doing here, anyway!"

Envy considered the question. "Well, actually, ochibi-san, I was looking through the Flame Colonel's desk."

"I know that! Why!"

Envy chuckled. "You're cute when you're angry, you know that?"

"Shut up and answer the goddamn question!"

"Well, I can't do both at once, now can I, ochibi-san?"

Ed, completely fed up with Envy by this point, charged, transmuting his arm into his blade.

Envy snickered, transformed _his_ arm into a blade, and leaped forward (and slightly to the side) to meet him.

000000000000000back outside000000000000000

Mustang had come back and was approaching Havoc, Armstrong, and Gohan when Hughes came up behind him.

"Roy-kun!"

"Stay away from me, Hughes. I don't want to see an—" the window exploding cut him off.

They all looked up, shielding themselves from falling glass. Papers fluttered out from the newly-opened window.

"Oh, they didn't..." Mustang moaned.

"I think they did," Havoc replied.

"MY WINDOW!"

Mustang bolted through the front door.

000000000000000upstairs, in Mustang's office000000000000000

Ed and Envy were still fighting when Mustang slammed the door open.

The two combatants froze.

Mustang's eye twitched. "My... desk..." he stuttered. His gloved right hand came up.

Ed, who was facing the Colonel, paled and dropped to the floor. By this point, he had developed an instinctive reaction to Mustang's temper: When Mustang raises his hand, you hit the floor. Period.

Envy, with his back to the Flame, (Suicidal move there, Envy.) was totally clueless. He sighed and put his hands on his hips. "Ochibi-san, what are you—"

/snap/

/FWOOM/

/crisp crackle/

Ed glanced up and saw a giant scorch mark along the spike he'd formed earlier leading out the window. His antennae-like hair was singed and Envy was nowhere to be seen.

"Holy shit."

000000000000000outside (again)000000000000000

Havoc, Hughes, Armstrong, and Gohan watched nervously as a giant flame shot out of Mustang's window along the spike.

"Well, I guess it's safe to say that Mustang got up there," Havoc commented, understating the obvious as usual.

"I hope Ed is okay..." Gohan said.

"He will be!" Hughes assured him.

The flame stopped and a charred body flew out the window. Halfway down, blue lights flashed around it, and it turned into Envy. He managed to twist himself around enough to land on his feet.

"Damn! I don't see what he's so pissed about. It's just a _desk_." He noticed the people standing behind him. "Hi!"

Gohan was the first to recognize him. "You!"

"Yup—me!" Then Envy recognized him. "...Hey! It's the chivalrous guy!" Realizing this, Envy turned into the whore-ish girl form he'd used on the demi-Saiyan before. Armstrong got a nosebleed. Havoc fainted.

"Gracia is prettier!" Hughes informed Envy, who glared at him, then turned and smiled sweetly at Gohan.

"Now you won't hit me!"

"You know, that doesn't work once I know you're evil incarnate."

"Damn. There goes that safe ticket." He shifted back to his normal form. "Y'know, I never got an answer as to who you are. So who are you?"

Gohan started forming a tiny ki-blast in an upturned palm. "The person who's going to ki-blast you three ways from next Thursday, that's who." (IWA: Don't try to understand it. BritKit wrote it. BK: Hey! IWA: (rolls eyes) And it wasn't meant to make sense, either.)

Envy stared at the now baseball-sized ball of energy.

"...Shit."

He turned and bolted away.

Gohan, grinning manically, followed, taking every precaution he had to to make sure Envy wouldn't notice. The sin didn't. However, he _did_ run practically halfway across the city with Gohan and the slowly-but-steadily growing ki-blast tailing him. Eventually, Envy found Lust.

"Lust! You'll never guess what that kid can do!"

"What kid?"

"The chivalrous one!"

"You mean the one standing right behind you?"

"Yeah, that—Wait, what!" Envy yelped, spinning around.

Gohan was standing about 10 feet behind him, grinning like a maniac. He waved at the two sins, then dropped (not threw) the basketball-sized ki-ball and vanished.

"I hate my life," Envy muttered, pouting. (IWA: What life?)

000000000000000outside the HQ again000000000000000

Gohan IT'd in, startling Hughes. (Armstrong was trying to wake up Havoc.)

"Where'dya go?" he asked the demi.

/KABOOOOM/

A giant yellow dome exploded in the distance.

"There."

They all stared. (Havoc had woken up.)

"What did you say you were again?" Hughes asked nervously.

000000000000000back in Mustang's office000000000000000

Ed had scrambled out as soon as he possibly could, so Mustang was alone in his office, kneeling before his hollowed-out desk in mourning.

/click/

"Hello, sir."

Mustang froze, then sloowly turned his head until he was looking down the barrel of a gun.

"He—hello, Riza..." he stuttered, standing up.

The gun followed him.

"You're back early, sir."

"Now, Riza, let's be reasonably..."

Riza grinned maliciously. "I'm very reasonable, sir, you know that."

"I don't suppose me treating you to dinner will, ah, appease you?"

"Not unless it's that new, formal, 7-star restaurant that just opened on East street."

"...Hawkeye, a meal there costs more than what I make in five years."

"Exactly, sir."

"...God help me."

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...And somehow, Mustang remains in one piece. A miracle, isn't it? Especially when Riza's extremely pissed off, as she is in the above scene. But we can't go losing our comic relief, now, can we? (snickers) Anywho, please leave me a review on your way out.


	6. The Dragonballs

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:**

it walks alone: (scribble scribble)

BritKit: (munchmunchmunch)

freakinCRAZY: (study)

Mordecai: ...That reminds me! It's Friday!

BK: (stares) No it's not.

M: It's not?

IWA: It's Monday.

BK: Which is why I feel like utter crap and want to jump off the roof of the building. (glares)

IWA: (to M) Basically, our dear BritKit, who had to get up at 6, hasn't had lunch, and has a math test today, is in a _very_ bad mood. (to BK) Please don't. If you do jump, then I'll be down a muse.

BK: You'll be down your _only_ muse. (grumbles)

M: I see.

FC: (completely oblivious)

IWA: I'm going to take this moment to announce that if anyone would like any pairings, yaoi, het, doesn't matter, they should tell me. Now. So that I can write it into the story and not just have it at the end. Also, I'm going to advise that you all go out and read the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett because the sequel to this will include it. I recommend you make sure to read _The Color of Magic_, _Night Watch_, and any other ones that mention Rincewind, the Luggage, Sam Vimes, and Unseen University, because they will be the main Discworld characters. (Yes, I know that a university is not a character, but I mean all the wizards in it.)

BK: (grumbles and glares at nothing in particular)

IWA: (catches her breath) And I STILL don't own FMA or DBZ. Or Discworld for that matter.

M: You know, there are a lot of similarities between fruitcake and Santa Claus...

IWA: Sure there are, Mordecai. Sure there are...

**Review Responses:**

I just realized that I'm not allowed to do these. (pouts) I'll respond via email, if I can. Starting with the reviews for this chapter.

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

Last time:

"Not unless it's that new, formal, 7-star restaurant that just opened on East street."

"...Hawkeye, a meal there costs more than what I make in five years."

"Exactly, sir."

"...God help me."

**Chapter 6: The Dragonballs**

A few days later, a random person in accounting at military headquarters picked up one of Colonel Mustang's expense reports and paused, reading it over.

There was an amount written in that was about five times a colonel's yearly salary plus some. In the 'Spent On' column was written 'Ransom'.

"I don't remember any ransom requests..."

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A couple weeks later, Gohan was making progress with alchemy—he could put dishes and other simple objects back together. The demi was also helping the Elric brothers with their research on the Philosopher's Stone. Oddly enough, Mustang (after being laughed at by Havoc, Hughes, and Ed about the 'ransom') hadn't sent the blond on any missions. Gohan speculated that that was because of his fear of what Armstrong, Hughes, and Havoc said he (meaning Gohan) could do. (IWA: Aka blowing up a rather large part of the city.) The Colonel was also giving Gohan access to whatever books he wanted, probably due to the same fear.

"Say, Gohan, don't you think you should call your mom?" Ed asked him. "I mean, it has been two weeks since she's heard from you. For all she knows, you could be dead..."

Gohan looked up from the perfect circle he was drawing. "Oh yeah... And knowing Mom, she's probably freaking out by now for just that reason..."

Ed nodded vigorously. "What do you say we go take over Mustang's office?"

Gohan grinned. "I like the way you think."

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"...So we need your office," Gohan finished.

Mustang glared at them. "...Why can't you call them from somewhere else?"

"Because Mom's probably spazzing and won't stop until she actually sees me. She may even insist on coming over herself."

Mustang blinked. "...Would that be bad?"

"You know what Riza's like. Mom's the same, just about 10 times as concentrated and with a Frying Pan instead of a gun."

Mustang blanched.

"And she's extremely overprotective of me," the demi-Saiyan continued.

"O—oh."

"Yeah. So, can I call her?"

"Of course," Mustang nearly squeaked.

Ed snickered.

"How about we leave him to deal with his mother by himself?" Mustang growled.

"Uh... Sure! I'll be leaving now!" Ed bolted out the door before Mustang could torch him. Said Colonel ran out after him.

Gohan shook his head, sweatdropping. "She's not _that_ bad..."

He walked over to the TV that Mustang still hadn't taken down yet. (IWA: Good thing, too.)

/click/

"Bulma?"

"_Oh, Gohan! Finally! Chi-Chi's been going ballistic! Let me go get her—she's visiting right now."_

"Sure thing, Bulma. I'll be right here."

Bulma left and returned a few minutes later with Chi-Chi in tow.

"Hey, Mom."

"_Gohan! Where have you been? Why haven't you called? How have your studies been going?"_

Gohan sweatdropped. "Um... I've been in and around Central, I haven't called because I've been busy learning alchemy from Ed and Al, and I can put some basic things back together now."

Chi-Chi had stars in her eyes. _"That's my Gohan!"_

Bulma chuckled. _"Wasn't there something you wanted to ask him, Chi-Chi?"_

Chi-Chi blinked, the stars disappearing. _"Huh?"_

Gohan sweatdropped again.

"_Oh yeah!"_ Chi-Chi exclaimed, apparently remembering. _"Does it have to be alchemy that fixes Ed and Al's bodies?"_

Gohan blinked. "Well, nobody's said that per se, but I get the feeling that that's what they believe..."

Chi-Chi grinned. _"Well, why don't we use the Dragonballs? We can wish them back to normal."_

Gohan just sat there, stunned.

"_WE can get them over here using the radar,"_ Bulma continued. _"We'll call you once we've got 'em. You just bring Ed and Al and whoever else wants to come over here, we'll summon Shenlong, and we can wish them back."_

"Mom, you're the greatest!" Gohan yelled, before nearly phasing out in his rush to go tell the Elric brothers.

There was a pause after he zoomed out the door.

Then he dashed back in, shut off the TV showing Chi-Chi's and Bulma's bemused expressions, and flew out through the doors again, causing them to slam behind him.

In the DBZ world, Chi-Chi and Bulma sat quietly for a minute, processing what had just occurred.

"You're welcome!" Chi-Chi called to the dead screen, even though she knew Gohan couldn't hear her.

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After a few minutes of flying around headquarters looking for Ed and Al and scaring many subordinates in the process, Gohan remembered that he could sense ki. He pinpointed the Elrics and went there.

The brothers turned out to be in just a random room with the Cereal Incident Crew: Mustang, (IWA: Obviously, he's the one who got the cereal!) Armstrong, Hughes, Havoc, and Riza.

Everyone looked up when he burst through the doors, not out of breath at all.

"Ed!Al!Momjustgavemeagreatidea!Iknowhowwecangetyourbodiesbacktonormal!"

They all stared at him, wide-eyed. (IWA: If applicable.)

"Sorry, what?" Ed asked, bewildered.

"I caught my name in there somewhere..." Al murmured.

Gohan rolled his eyes. "We can get you two back to normal."

Al jumped to his feet, knocking his chair over. "How!"

Gohan grinned. "The Dragonballs!"

"The what?" asked Riza.

Gohan sighed. "The Dragonballs! Seven mystical orbs. If you get all seven together, you can summon the dragon god Shenlong and hell grant you three wishes!"

They all stared at him even more.

"And... this is true?" Mustang asked skeptically. (IWA: Ed was still in shock.)

"Of course it is!" Gohan nearly yelled, exasperated.

"You have proof?" The Colonel was still skeptical.

Gohan glared. "All of the Z-Senshi but me, Goten, and Trunks have died at least once! Is that proof enough for you, _sir_?"

Mustang backed away. (IWA: As much as he could, seeing as he was still sitting down. He _did_ nearly tip his chair over backwards, though.) "Of course, of course! Sorry!"

Gohan shook his head. "It's okay. You didn't know. I shouldn't have yelled."

Hughes poked Ed. "Hey, what happened to him?"

"I think he's in shock..." Al replied.

Riza, (ever so slightly) fed up with this situation, pulled out her gun and fired at the ceiling.

Ed didn't react.

"Hawkeye! I'm gonna have to pay for that, you know!" Mustang complained.

Riza glanced at him. "Oh, just put it under damages."

Al sighed. "Let me handle this." He turned to his brother. "Ed, the house is on fire."

No response.

"Ed, Winry wants to marry you."

Still no response.

"Ed, I slept with Mustang."

Everyone stared at the suit of armor. (Except Ed, who was still staring blankly ahead.)

"Now look here, Alphonse—" Mustang started. Riza put her hand over his mouth.

"Was he any good?" Ed asked dazedly. (IWA: Mind you, Al's still a suit of armor. (sweatdrops))

"ALPHO—" Again, Mustang was cut off by Riza's hand.

"Yes, actually, and he wants to know if you'll join us next time," Al said.

"I DO NO—" Mustang again. Yet again, Riza cut him off.

"Okay..." Ed replied, still dazed. Then he snapped out of it. "Wait—What did I just agree to?"

"You agreed to have a threesome with me and Mustang next Saturday," Al informed him.

"WHAAAAT?"

"Relax, nii-san, I'm kidding."

"Ohthankgod!"

Mustang growled.

Everyone else sweatdropped.

"...Hey... Mustang...?" Havoc asked timidly.

"What?" said Colonel snapped. (IWA: Not literally!)

"...You wouldn't... actually... I mean... Would you even consider...?"

"NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!" Mustang and Ed yelled in unison.

"Justchecking!" Havoc yelped, hiding behind Riza, who rolled her eyes.

Al snickered.

Gohan coughed. "...Um, right. Let's get back on topic, shall we?"

They all turned to him. "What topic?" Ed asked innocently.

Gohan sighed. "Wishing your bodies back."

"Oh, right!" Ed grinned. "So, where are these 'Dragonballs'?"

Gohan grinned back. "Mom and Bulma have the Z-Senshi (IWA: Probably Yamcha and Vegeta... (shudder) Those two do NOT like each other...) out looking for them. They'll call us once they have them all."

Mustang scowled, still miffed about the whole sleeping-with-Fullmetal thing. (BK: That _would_ be pretty hot, tho'... (drools) IWA: ... ... (sweatdrops)) "Does this mean I'm confined to my office until further notice?"

Gohan laughed, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. "Of course not! Bulma has my number!"

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... ... (sweatdrops) BK came up with the whole Ed-in-shock thing. She'd come up with it before and I just (completely accidentally, mind you) gave her the perfect opportunity to use it. And I am interested in what you think about pairings. Anywho, please leave me a review on your way out.


	7. DBZ World

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:**

IWA: (scribble scribble)

BK: (writes plot)

M: (is bored)

FC: (comes in) (pokes IWA)

IWA: AAAAAAH! Don't DO that! (picks up hardcover The Darwin Awards II) This IS a hard book, you know.

FC: I have a hard head.

BK: (picks up hardcover The Will of the Empress) This is a HARDER book.

FC: (raises eyebrow, cocks head to side)

M: This is my hand! It's weird...

FC: YOU'RE weird. (goes off to buy stuff from vending machines)

IWA: (pouts) I didn't get to hit her...

BK: (rolls eyes) Oh, get over it already. (goes back to writing plot)

M: (hums to self)

FC: (comes back) (drains 20oz bottle of Mountain Dew) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, that's better. (stares at Mountain Dew bottle)

IWA: (stares at FC)

M: (stares at hand)

INTERMISSION

-

-

BACK TO THE DISCLAIMER

BK: (scribble scribble pause) Hey, IWA?

IWA: (Stops staring at FC) Hmm?

BK: Just so you know—'ednal' stands for 'Ed and Al'.

IWA: 'Ednal'?

M: Is that like eggnog?

BK: It's just easier, alright?

FC: (contemplating Mountain Dew bottle) (looks up) Huh? Eggnog? Where?

BK: THERE IS NO EGGNOG!

FC: Oh. Damn. (goes back to contemplating Mountain Dew bottle)

IWA: 'Ednal'?

BK: Ya know what? Forget it.

IWA: (looks at BK weird) Ooooooooo-kay. Anywho, I still don't own FMA, DBZ, or Mountain Dew. Got it? So don't sue me.

BK: 'Cause you wont get much.

IWA: You're still upset about the whole 'ednal' thing, aren't you...

**Reviews:** Well, I got some interesting pairing requests... Yami no Hikari-Chan, how do you come up with these things...?

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

**Last time:**

Mustang scowled, still miffed about the whole sleeping-with-Fullmetal thing. (BK: That _would_ be pretty hot, tho'... (drools) IWA: ... ... (sweatdrops)) "Does this mean I'm confined to my office until further notice?"

Gohan laughed, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. "Of course not! Bulma has my number!"

**Chapter 7: DBZ World**

About a week and a half later, Gohan, Ed, Al, Mustang, Riza, Hughes, Armstrong, and Havoc were in the mess hall, with Ed and Mustang as far away from each other as they could possibly get.

All of a sudden... _"It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small small world."_

Gohan slammed his head on the table, cracking said object. The entire hall went silent.

"Oh, I am SO going to kill them..."

"_It's a world of laughter, a world of tears, it's a world of hope and a world of fears..."_

"...Or better yet, I'll sic Vegeta on them..."

The CIC sweatdropped.

"_There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware it's a small world after—_" /click/

"Yes, Mom?"

Pause.

"Oh, you do? Great."

Pause.

"Sure thing. And by the way, did you know that Goten and Trunks got into my stuff before I left?"

Pause.

Gohan yanked the phone away from his ear.

"_Goten!"_ Chi-Chi screeched. _"Get down here this instant!"_

Gohan smirked and shut the phone.

Ed was the first to recover his voice. "Well, that was obviously your mom. What did she call you about?"

"They've got all the Dragonballs."

Ed's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Gohan nodded. "So, who wants to come?"

The CIC raised their hands.

Gohan laughed. "Well, c'mon, then! Let's go to the Colonel's office!"

Mustang scowled. "It's always MY office..." he muttered.

Ed snickered.

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About a minute later, they were all in Mustang's office.

Gohan flipped his phone open and dialed.

Pause.

"Yeah. We're all here."

Pause.

Gohan counted. "...8."

Pause.

"Yup. Oh, and by the way, Al's here."

Pause.

Gohan sighed. "Let's just use the TV." He walked over and turned said object on.

Bulma and Mirai appeared on the screen. Bulma looked up and started entering numbers into the machine.

"_Okay, Al? I'll be bringing you through last since you aren't made of the same stuff as everyone else,"_ she said.

Al nodded. "Okay, Bulma-san."

"_Don't call me -san. It makes me sound so old,"_ she returned, grinning.

"Yes, Bulma-san."

Bulma rolled her eyes.

"_Mom, everything's been inputted. We're ready,"_ Mirai informed her.

"_Right. Everyone ready?"_

They all nodded.

"_Good. Transmitting,"_ Bulma quipped.

There was a hum, a flash of light, and everyone in Mustang's office but Al disappeared and reappeared in the transmit room in the DBZ world.

Havoc took a deep breath. _"That is so unnerving..."_

Mustang shivered. _"I second that."_

"_Reconfiguring..."_ Mirai announced. _"Parameters reconfigured."_

"_Okay Al, we've locked on to you. Go right back to where you're standing now, okay? We'll bring you through in 15 seconds."_

"Right."

Al walked over, turned off the TV screen, and walked back.

A few seconds later, there was a hum, a flash of light, and Al was gone.

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Ed sighed in relief as Al appeared.

"I'm fine, nii-san."

"Let me check your blood rune, Al."

Al sighed, took his helmet off, and bent over.

Mirai gaped.

Ed stood up on his tiptoes and looked inside Al's armor. He sighed again. "It's fine."

"Of course it is, nii-san. I've been through twice already and it was fine both times," Al replied, standing up and replacing his helmet.

"But something could have gone wrong!"

"Nothing did," Bulma interrupted. "Now let's go get the Dragonballs."

"Are we going to summon Shenlong here, or..." Mirai asked her.

"How about on the Lookout? That way Dende can be there too."

"Sure. Let me go fetch Dad. I'll be right back... I hope. If I'm not there in 15 minutes, come get me," Mirai volunteered. He then flew off.

"Right. Now that I _know_ Vegeta's going to be there—Gohan, you go get him if he doesn't show—we can get going. C'mon, my plane's around here somewhere..." She started going through her pockets. "A-_ha_!" she exclaimed triumphantly, pulling what looked like a cigarette case out of a pocket.

"What is that?" Armstrong asked her.

Bulma looked up at him. "My capsule case," she answered matter-of-factly.

"Capsule case?" Havoc asked cluelessly.

"Yup!"

"...I'm not going to get a straight answer out of you, am I?"

Bulma looked up, confused. "I thought I gave you one."

Havoc sighed. "Nevermind."

Bulma stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. "Oh well. C'mon, let's go outside so I can open this thing."

They all dutifully trooped outside after her.

Once outside, she pushed the button at the top of the capsule and tossed it. It landed with a 'bang' and a lot of smoke.

Before the smoke had even cleared, Mustang had his right hand up, Riza had her guns out, Armstrong had his spiked gloves on, Hughes was hiding behind Riza, and Havoc, after a moment's indecision, was hiding behind Armstrong.

Bulma looked at them oddly. "It's just a plane..." She pointed at the area that the smoke had cleared from and sure enough, there was a plane there.

Ed snickered.

Gohan turned to the blond alchemist. "You hand the same reaction the first time you saw someone un-capsulize something, Ed. You really shouldn't be laughing."

Ed glared at him. "Shut up."

Bulma sighed. "Let's get going. I'd never hear the end of it if Vegeta came out and we're still here."

Al nodded. "Yes. Let's go."

After the CIC relaxed enough to warily trust the plane, (IWA: They've never seen one before, remember...) they all climbed on.

As they got themselves situated, Gohan remarked, "Y'know, Bulma, I don't think I've seen this one before. Is it new?"

"Yeah. It's still in the testing stage, but I've been debugging it for a year now, so there shouldn't be a problem," the blue-haired genius responded.

Neither of them noticed the whole CIC go white-knuckled with fear at that statement.

"But if something _does_ go wrong, we've got you, Gohan. And soon, Mirai and Vegeta."

"Oh, yeah. No pressure there," Gohan replied sarcastically.

Bulma giggled and started the engine.

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Poor FMA peoples! To have to ride in something they've never seen before that might have some major problems... And having Gohan along isn't doing much for them. On another note, I'm still interested in pairing requests, seeing as how I've only gotten responses on that from two people. And please leave me a review on your way out.


	8. Kami's Lookout

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** BK and IWA are sitting at table

it walks alone: (scribble scribble)

BritKit: (flips cap on Bath & Bodyworks "moonlight path" lotion open & closed, fascinated)

BK: (pause) (sniff) ...Does anyone else smell popcorn?

IWA: Yes. I think it's the seniors. Just so all of you readers know, our seniors have a blocked off with cubical walls area of the cafeteria with some really pathetic chairs and a TV/gamestation called the 'Senior Lounge'. They've been playing Sonic the Hedgehog all afternoon. Which I also don't own. Same with Bath & Body Works.

freakinCRAZY: (runs in) Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee splat! (slams into pole in front of table)

(fwump)

IWA: (looks up) Did I miss something?

BK: (leans over side of table) ...FC, what are you doing on the floor?

IWA: (leans over table) Oh. It's you. (goes back to writing)

FC: (stands up) I'm OKAY!

BK: ...Uh-huh, sure. (sniffs) I think the popcorn is burning.

FC: Should we tell them? (sits down)

BK: Nah, let's wait for them to notice, you know when the microwave starts burning and someone yells "fire" and everybody goes "where?"

IWA: And you're weird and I still don't own FMA or DBZ and no one has told me if they're selling Ed and I'm gonna shut up now.

**A/N:** Pairing poll results so far: (I'll only put ones on here that people have actually voted for)

Gohan/Ed: 1

Ed/Winry: 2

Mustang/Riza: 1

Gohan/Lust: 1

Vegeta/Lust: 1

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

**Last time:**

"But if something _does_ go wrong, we've got you, Gohan. And soon, Mirai and Vegeta."

"Oh, yeah. No pressure there," Gohan replied sarcastically.

Bulma giggled and started the engine.

**Chapter 8: Kami's Lookout**

Mirai and Vegeta caught up to them not much later.

They were informed of this fact by a knocking on the outside door.

"That would be Mirai. Gohan?"

"Yes, Bulma."

Gohan got up and opened the door. Mirai and Vegeta were flying alongside the plane.

"Hey, Mirai, Vegeta," Gohan greeted them, stepping aside so they could come in.

"I believe some introductions are in order," Mirai observed, looking around. "I'm Mirai Trunks Briefs. Call me Mirai. And this is my dad, Vegeta."

Vegeta grunted.

Ed glanced up at the Saiyan Prince from where he was sitting (IWA: Tho' he's probably shorter than Vegeta even when he's standing... /sweatdrops/ ) and started to introduce the military people.

"You know me and Al. This is Mustang..."

"Colonel Roy Mustang. The Flame Alchemist," Mustang clarified, saluting.

"...Hawkeye..."

"First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye," she quipped, also saluting.

"...Hughes—stay away from his pictures..."

"Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes. Have you seen my darling Elicia? No, of course you haven't. This is a picture of her taking her first steps..."

Ed sighed. "Hughes, stay away from Vegeta. He's got a really bad attitude and can—scratch that, WILL—blast you into oblivion."

Hughes kept babbling at the aforementioned (now twitching) Saiyan.

"Just like Gohan did to Envy."

Hughes froze, then dashed behind Riza, who rolled her eyes.

"Can we _please_ leave me out of this?"

"Okay, Gohan, what did you do?" Bulma asked the demi.

"Got rid of a bad guy."

"Oh. Okay then!" She went back to piloting.

Ed shook his head at them and continued with the introductions. "...Armstrong..."

"Major Alex Louis Armstrong. The Strong Arm Alchemist!" Armstrong announced, posing. (IWA: And sparkling, too, of course...)

Ed sweatdropped. "...and Havoc."

"Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc."

Riza pulled the cigarette from between Havoc's lips before he even had a chance to light it.

"Hey!"

Riza shook her head. "It's pointless to argue with you, so I won't waste any energy on it. Give me the cigarettes."

"What!" Havoc looked horrified.

"Those things will kill you, you know," Mustang commented.

"Ah, give it up, Riza. You're not gonna be able to stop him," Hughes interjected.

Riza rolled her eyes, but turned away as a smirking Havoc lit another cigarette.

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Sooh, they arrived at Kami's Lookout, where the rest of the Z-Senshi was supposed to be waiting.

The CIC was very confused when they stepped out of the plane.

"Umm... Where are we?" Havoc voiced what they were all thinking.

Gohan grinned. "Kami's Lookout! This is where Dende lives."

"Dende...?" Hughes asked.

"God," Ed clarified.

They stared. "...God!" Hughes squeaked.

Mirai snickered. "Yes, God."

"C'mon, let's go see if they're here!" Bulma chirped.

"No need."

"Piccolo! Hi!" Gohan called.

"Hey, kid. It's been a while," Piccolo replied, stepping out of the building, followed by the Z-Senshi.

"I think some introductions are in order," Riza observed, unconsciously repeating what Mirai had said not too long ago.

Hughes, meanwhile, was hiding behind Armstrong, Havoc was in shock, and Mustang's hand was twitching.

Gohan obliged. "Well, let's see. There's my mom, Chi-Chi..."

She waved.

"...Krillen, Eighteen, and Marron Chestnut..."

Mustang turned slightly to Riza. "Eighteen...?"

Krillen waved and 18 inclined her head.

"...Yamcha Bandit..."

He grinned.

"...Piccolo..."

He grunted.

"...Master Roshi—Riza, stay away from him, he's a pervert..."

Master Roshi's face fell at the last proclamation.

"...and Dende—he's Kami, or God."

The deity in question smiled.

"Saay, Mom, is Dad gonna be here?"

"I don't know, honey. I haven't heard from him," Chi-Chi replied.

"Oh." Gohan looked down, then back up, realizing something worrying. "And where are Trunks and Goten?"

Chi-Chi looked around. "I don't know..." She turned to Bulma. "Weren't they with you?"

"I thought they were with you!" the blue-haired genius replied.

Yamcha paled. "Oh no..."

Both mothers turned to Dende. "Can you find them?"

Dende looked troubled. "I can try." He walked to the edge and looked down.

"Well, while we're waiting for the Brats, how about we go get the Dragonballs?" Krillen suggested.

Piccolo nodded. "Good idea." He turned with a flourish and disappeared inside.

"Now, introductions the other way:—" Gohan started.

"We can introduce ourselves," Mustang interrupted. He turned to the assembled group of martial artists and their families. "Roy Mustang. Rank: Colonel. I'm the Flame Alchemist."

"First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye." She saluted.

("Oh, no, not another #18..." Yamcha moaned.

"Hey! I resent that!" Krillen objected.)

"Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes," said officer said, sticking his head out from behind Armstrong and waving, then ducking back.

("Wow. He didn't pull out his pictures," Ed observed.

"I think his encounter with Vegeta taught him not to do that to someone he doesn't know," Al returned.)

"Major Alex Louis Armstrong, the Strong Arm Alchemist!" As usual, Armstrong posed and sparkled. PINK. The military people sweatdropped.

Havoc continued staring after Piccolo.

/smack/

"Ow! What—?" Havoc massaged the back of his head where Riza had slapped him. "Oh, sorry. Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc." He grinned sheepishly and waved.

(IWA: Wow. I just realized I introduced them in the same order both times... That was completely accidental, I assure you.)

"No smoking."

"Riza," Ed interjected, "if he wants to kill himself, let him. It's his choice. And it'll save the rest of us a headache."

Riza turned away.

"Huh... They're all military,"Yamcha observed. "Are you, Ed?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Just wondering." The former bandit shrugged.

"What rank are you?" Bulma asked, curious.

"Major."

"Coooool..."

Everyone turned to the voices that had just spoken. It was the Brats. Gohan glowered at them.

"You two changed my ring tone, didn't you?"

Both of them went deer-in-the-headlights. "Uhh... No?"

"What to?" Mirai asked.

"_It's a Small World_," Gohan growled.

Mirai winced. "Ouch."

Gohan stalked over to the two cowering chibis and picked them up by their collars. They shivered.

Chi-Chi walked over, pulling out her Frying Pan of Doom™. "Goten, both Gohan _and I_ told you _specifically_ not to touch Gohan's things," she admonished. "And then you go and deliberately _disobey me_." She glared at him, then turned and walked back to where she had been, leaving a cowering chibi hanging from Gohan's hand. "I don't want to hear that you've done that again. Understood?"

"Yes, Mom," Goten whimpered.

Gohan dropped them. "Oh, Bulma, I need you to take a look at that phone. I can't figure out how to change it back."

"Alright, give it to me after we've summoned Shenlong."

Piccolo appeared in the doorway, carrying the bag with the Dragonballs. He walked into the space between the groups and upended the bag, spilling the seven spheres on the ground.

"Shenlong, come forth! Grant our wish!"

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Ha ha, cliffy, no? And sorry for the long wait. I had to get a disclaimer off my muse. I've got up to chapter 10 written, but I'll need disclaimers before I can post. Anywho, please tell me what you think of this and any more pairing suggestions. Please leave me a review on your way out.


	9. Shenlong

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** IWA, BK, M, and FC sitting at table

BritKit: (reads Rebel Angels (sequel to A Great and Terrible Beauty) (neither of which I own))

Mordecai: (stares at giant bag of candy)

it walks alone: (scribble scribble pause) (sings) Peter Piper pii-cked a peck of pickled peppers. Peter Piper picked a peck of pee-ppers. Peter Pii-per, Peter Pii-per, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers that he picked.

All: (silence)

BK: WHAT?

IWA: Peter Piper's Fugue. I'm playing along with it in the concert tonight. (By the way, I don't own it.)

BK: o.O (stares) ...I'll go back to reading now.

M: o.o How can you sing that that fast?

IWA: Practice, Mordecai. Practice.

freakinCRAZY: Aaah! Too many "p's"!

IWA: o.o Really? ...BritKit, I am in desperate need of plot.

BK: I only have a couple more pages!

(silence)

(a few minutes later)

BK: DONE! Now, what did you need?

IWA: PLOT!

BK: Oh right! (scribble scribble)

IWA: (sigh) Finally. (reads over BK's shoulder) ...And why is Chi-Chi serving...?

BK: Maternal instincts. She has to serve her guests coffee and tea.

FC: ...Do I want to know...?

IWA: Not really.

FC: Oh. (puts head back down, chin on binder) I hate tea and coffee. I'm screwed.

BK & IWA: Then she'd serve you water.

FC: (chipper) That works!

BK: (goes back to scribbling)

IWA: (stares into space)

FC: (starts playing with a pen)

M: Penguins are cool.

IWA: Penguins have taken over the nine tenths of your brain you don't use.

BK: That's fine. As long as they don't bother me, I don't care. (scribble scribble)

IWA: (pulls out a book and starts reading)

M: (stares into space)

FC: (looks up) Huh? What'd I miss?

IWA: Nothing important. And I still don't own FMA or DBZ. If I did, Goku wouldn't be dead (he'd be his normal idiot self in the living world) and Mustang's desks would never survive a week. So there.

M: And then I die.

BK: No, you wouldn't.

M: (comes back to reality) Huh? What? What now?

BK & IWA: (sigh)

IWA: Nothing. You didn't miss anything, Mordecai.

M: Oh. Okay! (goes back to staring into space)

BK & IWA: (sigh)

**A/N:** Pairing poll results so far:

Gohan/Ed: 1

Ed/Winry: 2

Mustang/Riza: 2

Gohan/Lust: 1

Vegeta/Lust: 1

And I'm really sorry about posting this so late! BritKit got me into a series of books and when I'm in the middle of a book, I don't want to stop to write. Sorry! Don't hurt me! (runs and hides)

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_ **Shenlong**

**Last time:**

Piccolo appeared in the doorway, carrying the bag with the Dragonballs. He walked into the space between the groups and upended the bag, spilling the seven spheres on the ground.

"Shenlong, come forth! Grant our wish!"

**Chapter 9: Shenlong**

The sky turned dark and the Dragonballs glowed brightly. There was a flash of light. (IWA: But no hum!) And something shot up out of them.

With a roar, Shenlong appeared.

**"Why have you mortals summoned me here today? Tell me your wishes—I shall grant three."**

Riza fainted. Hughes managed to catch her before she hit the ground and carried her inside, led by Mr. Popo.

Shenlong sweatdropped.

"Umm..." Ed started. "My with is that you give Al back his body."

**"That I cannot do."**

They all stared at the dragon god in surprise.

"Huh? Why?" Gohan asked.

**"He is not of this universe. I only have the power to alter this world and the Otherworld."**

"How can we bring him back, then?" Bulma inquired.

**"There are Dragonballs in every universe—simply find the ones in his world. Then you must go to the place where the alchemy was performed, gather the results, and undo the alchemy."**

"You're sure there are Dragonballs in Amestris?" Ed asked.

**"Yes. there are Dragonballs in every universe. In some they are never found, but they are there."**

"Will I be able to use my radar to find them?" Bulma was trying to think of everything.

**"Yes. The rules are the same—three wishes and no bringing people back to life twice. Is that all?"**

"Yes," Bulma replied.

"No," Ed interjected before Shenlong could disappear. "Will we (Al and I) be able to bring our mother back?"

**"No. She was meant to die when she did and was a person of no consequence. An "ordinary" mortal, if you will. I cannot justify bringing her back."**

"Alright. Now you can go."

**"Farewell,"** Shenlong rumbled. He glowed for a second, then split into seven small fragments that blasted away in random directions.

Hughes and Popo had come back just in time for the dragon god's departure.

Hughes whistled. "That dragon sure can make an exit!" He turned to Ed. "So how'd it go?"

Ed turned to look at him. "Well, he couldn't fix us, but he told us how we could."

"So what are we waiting for?"

"Good question," the blond replied.

"Let's go back to Capsule Corp. I'll get the Dragon Radar, and then we can go search in Amestris!" Bulma suggested.

Everyone nodded. "Let's do that."

000000000000000000000000000000

Meanwhile, in the Otherworld:

Goku was watching his friends in a viewing pool.

"Ooooh! They're going to another world!"

He paused.

"...I wanna go!"

And, with that decided, he zipped off to find Enma.

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A few hours later in the Capsule Corp kitchen:

Vegeta was leaning against the wall, sulking. Hughes was simply fascinated with the Saiyan, and refused to stop staring at him. Al was over in that general vicinity (to prevent Hughes from pouncing Vegeta and to keep Vegeta from attacking Hughes) and _not_ looking too happy about it.

The rest of the military personell were sitting around the table (about half a foot away from it, seeing as how Bulma had taken over it with blueprints of virtually anything she could think of to bring with them to Amestris). Ed was perched on an empty bit of counter and Chi-Chi was bustling about making tea and coffee for the guests. Gohan, Mirai, and the Brats were off packing.

Riza sweatdropped as she looked at all the blueprints scattered all over the table, the counter, (except the parts that Chi-Chi had recovered and Ed was sitting on) and the floor where they'd fallen.

Chi-Chi walked over to Mustang and Havoc, a cup of coffee in each hand. "Sorry about Bulma. Once she gets planning..."

"Don't worry, it's quite alright," Mustang assured her, taking one of the cups from her.

Armstrong sipped his tea, sparkling. (BK:And sitting on a chair that was _far_ too small for him and looked as though it would collapse at any moment. IWA: ...)

Havoc, after receiving his coffee, stood up and walked over to Bulma, leaning over to see what she was doing, and put his cup down on the table.

/clang/

Havoc was slammed to the ground, stunned from the blow to his head. Bulma picked up his cup and put it on his stomach.

"_Keep_ the teacups _off_ the blueprints."

"Yes, ma'am," Havoc replied, dazed.

000000000000000000000000000000

"—IgocanIgocanIgocanIgocanIgocanI—"

Enma twitched, watching the dead Saiyan bounce up and down on his desk. _This. Is. NOT. My day._

"—canIgocanIgocanIgocanIgo—"

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1 hour later, Chikyuu: (BK: Aka DBZ World for those of us who aren't DBZ-obsessed. (glares at IWA) IWA: (looks up innocently) What?)

Everyone (who was in Capsule at the time) was in the kitchen. The blueprints had been cleared away.

Bulma placed her hands palm down, on the table. "So, we know this much: we need to get to Amestris, gather the Dragonballs, summon the dragon, and leave as quickly ad possible, without attracting too much attention."

Chi-Chi stared at her. "Bulma, we're talking about SAIYANS here. They don't _do_ subtle."

Vegeta Smirked™.

Trunks snickered.

"Hey! I _can_ do subtle!" Gohan protested.

Ed stared at him. "No, you can't. You blew up three and a half buildings trying to get rid of two homunculi."

"Like you're much better, Fullmetal?" Mustang asked, smirking.

Ed glared at him.

Gohan blinked. "That wasn't subtle?"

"No."

"Oh."

Ed facefaulted. (IWA: Yes, off the counter... And somehow manages to emerge unscathed and on the counter again...)

Chi-Chi was confused. "What's a homocu... homulcu..."

"Homunculus?" Ed finished for her.

"Yes."

Ed closed his eyes, trying to remember the definition word for word. "Homunculus. Plural, homunculi. Noun. The result when the components of the average adult human body are placed in a transmutation circle, energy is added, and the transmutation fails. They possess strange superhuman powers and take on the appearance of the person the alchemist involved was trying to create, but have none of the memories of the aforementioned person. They are also incredibly hard to kill," he added, opening his eyes.

Al sighed. "Nii-san, you're starting to sound like a dictionary again..."

The elder Elric rolled his eyes.

The Z-Senshi stared at him. "...In English, please?" Chi-Chi asked.

"That IS English!" Ed exclaimed, flailing his arms.

"In other words, a failed human transmutation," Mustang offered.

Blank stares from the Z-Senshi.

Hughes sighed. "Translation: evil incarnate."

Vegeta perked up.

Chi-Chi put her hands on her hips. "Well, that settles it. Goten, you're not going."

"What!" Goten yelped.

"Ha ha!"

"Don't laugh, Trunks. You're not going either," Bulma informed her son.

"What? But Mo-om!"

"Don't you 'but Mom' me. You're not going and that's final."

000000000000000000000000000000

"—Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Enma-sama, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE! CanIgocanIgocanIgocanIgocanI—"

Enma twitched repeatedly.

Just then, Baba appeared, floating on her crystal ball. "Is there a problem, Enma-sama?"

"—canIgocanIgocanIgocanIgocanIgocanIgocanIgocanIgo—"

"Get. Him. Off. My desk. NOW," Enma growled.

"—canIgocanIgocanIcanIhuhhuhhuh?" The Saiyan paused, gasping for breath. (BK: For the first time in five hours.)

"YES."

"CanI—" Goku froze and blinked. "I can?"

"Yes."

The dead warrior's eyes had huge sparkles in them. "YAAAAAY! IcangoIcangoIcangoIcangoI—" He was now running in circles around Enma's desk.

/WHAM/

Baba blinked as the lord of the dead's head slammed into his over-abused desk.

000000000000000000000000000000

Hahaha! Poor Enma... and hyper, 6-year-old mentality Goku. But what else is new? Please leave me a review on your way out, and if you have a favorite pairing, please tell me.


	10. SCREWDRIVER!

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**A/N:** Yes, this chapter has been replaced. If you want to see what we added, here's some advice: Scroll down to the bottom and then go up until you see something familiar. We just added some parts to the end, we didn't change anything we'd already written.

**Disclaimer:** lunch table, BK is alone

BritKit: Hey everyone! IWA _finally_ realized how long it had been since she updated, and... promptly fainted dead away. Once I revived her (involving a pail of very cold water and a lot of running) she barricaded herself in that room (points to door) and is refusing to come out until she's finished the chapter. And Mordecai is... um... actually I don't know where Mordecai is. This could get ugly. For whoever he's with anyway...

(crickets chirp)

BK: Oh well. Anyways, I am going to take this opportunity to give you a sneak peek into certain parts of GIA that haven't been written! Presenting... The Plot-ness Sheet! (holds up sheet of lined paper labeled 'Plot-ness Sheet') This all-important sheet contains 3 unwritten dialog scenes and the locations of the Amestris Dragonballs, which I am NOT going to reveal! And these _are_ in the order in which they will appear. First scene!

-

"Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay." Ed frowned slightly. "Sure. See you in a bit, Mustang." He hung up the phone. "It's a trap," he proclaimed.

There was a chorus of "Wha-at?"

Ed turned to the group. "You were listening?"

"Yes..."

"Were we fighting?"

"No..."

"Trap!"

-

BK: Next scene! Skipping a real short one...

-

Bulma jammed some controls as she tried to bring the plane under control. "This should be interesting."

Mustang staggered into the cockpit. "Define 'interesting'."

"I was thinking somewhere along the lines of 'Oh god oh god we're all gonna die'?" She grabbed the intercom. "Okay, people, we're going to experience some turbulence, and then promptly blow up. So please exit the plane while you are still able to. Saiyans—help the ones that can't fly." She grabbed the controls again, then frowned, picking up the intercom once more. "And Vegeta—if I don't see you helping I'll frying pan you into next week!"

-

BK: So there's your sneak peek into GIA...

it walks alone: Brit... Kit...

BK: O.O Heh! IWA! You're... uh... done?

IWA: -.- Grrrrrrrrr... (chases BK)

BK: Mweep! runs) You know, I didn't give away anything big!

IWA: (stops) Good point. But I'm gonna chase you anyway. Notice I'm still posting this? And I don't own FMA or DBZ.

BK: (runs, screaming)

IWA: (chases, looking ever-so-slightly murderous)

**A/N:** Sorry for not posting earlier, but BritKit got me into some books, and when I read, I don't write. Feel free to flame me about it. Flames will go to roasting BK for giving you that Plot-ness Sheet... Anywho, pairing poll results so far:

Gohan/Ed: 1

Ed/Winry: 4

Mustang/Riza: 4

Gohan/Lust: 2

Vegeta/Lust: 1

Scar/Riza: 1

Gohan/Videl: 1

And to the anonymous reviewer: I'M not evil incarnate, my muse is! SHE'S the one who came up with that!

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

**Last time:**

The dead warrior's eyes had huge sparkles in them. "YAAAAAY! IcangoIcangoIcangoIcangoI—" He was now running in circles around Enma's desk.

/WHAM/

Baba blinked as the lord of the dead's head slammed into his over-abused desk.

**Chapter 10: SCREWDRIVER!**

Bulma looked around. "Then, it's decided. Gohan, Mirai, Vegeta, and I will go to Amestris. Chi-Chi, you and Piccolo will stay here and keep an eye on the Brats and Capsule Corp. Everyone clear?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Yes."

Nod.

"Hmph."

The officers sweatdropped.

"Alright!" Bulma continued. "Now everyone go... pack or something."

"...Or something?"

Bulma glared at the lavender-haired teen. "Quiet, you."

000000000000000000000000000000

Approximately 3 hours later:

Mirai put the last of Bulma's suitcases on the table. "Jeez, Mom, what was in that last one? Rocks?"

Bulma shrugged. "It's possible. Everyone here?"

Her question was answered by a chorus of 'yes'es and a snort.

"_No!"_

Everyone started looking around.

"_Not yet, Bulma! They're still figuring out if I can co-ome!"_ a disembodied voice whined.

"...Honey?" Chi-Chi asked, eyes wide.

"Dad, is that _you_?" Gohan asked at the same time.

A muffled squeak of surprise came from one of Bulma's suitcases, but went unnoticed.

"_Yup, it's me! Hiii everyone!"_

Ed turned to look at Gohan. "I though you said your dad was _dead_?"

"He _is_," said Gohan, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"...So how come he's talking?"

"He comes back occasionally." The demi shrugged.

/thump/

Havoc had fallen over in a dead faint.

Riza sat down. "...Does anyone have some Advil? I feel a headache coming on."

Chi-Chi spoke next, looking up. "You mean you're going to go with them?"

"_Yup! I've been watching for a while. They've just gotta decide if it's safe."_

Suddenly, Chi-Chi remembered her manners. "Oh! I'm sorry, everyone. May I introduce you to my late husband, Son Goku."

"It may be a better idea to do that when he's got a _body_," Gohan suggested.

"Hush. Goku, do you know who everyone is?"

"_Yup!"_

Meanwhile, Mustang looked like a thousand pound weight had just dropped out of nowhere. "They?"

"_Huh?"_

"You mentioned a 'they'."

"_Ooh, them!"_ And the dead warrior proceeded to rattle off an explanation of the Kais, the Otherworld, and being dead in general which had obviously been pounded into him with a sledgehammer by someone who thought he should memorize it. (IWA: (sweatdrops))

"_...And then there's the four Kais of the North, South, East, and West Quadrants. They're the last Kais. There're also Guardians for every planet. Piccolo was one, before he fused again, and the current one for Chikyuu is Dende, a little Namekian I met on Namek when I went there to stop Freeza from destroying it and failed."_ He paused for breath. _"And that's 'they'."_

There was silence.

"...Come again?"

000000000000000000000000000000

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye had come to a very important conclusion: metal tabletops are not very interesting. She had come to this conclusion because that was the only thing she had seen for the past fifteen minutes. Somewhere along the line, her hair clip had fallen out and her hair was... Well, let's not go there. Someone had at least had the good sense to take her coat. And her head hurt. A lot. She debated taking another Advil, but decided against it.

/WHAM. WHAM. WHAM./

Chi-Chi looked over. "Are you okay?" she asked the Lieutenant.

Riza stopped banging her head against the table, but didn't look up. "I will be once I get a nice _normal_ day of paperwork in. And some sleep."

/WHAM. WHAM. WHAM./

"...Are you sure?"

"Quite."

/WHAM. WHAM. WHAM./

Chi-Chi edged over to where Mustang, Hughes, Havoc, and Ed were playing cards. "Are you sure Miss Hawkeye will be alright?"

The Colonel flapped a hand at her. "Oh, come on, this is Hawkeye we're talking about. She can—" He caught sight of the Lieutenant in question.

/WHAM. WHAM. WHAM./

"...On second thought, we should be getting back to Headquarters soon."

/pop/

/fwump/

Mustang turned and blinked.

There was a... person on Armstrong's head.

Armstrong reached up and lifted Goku (who was practically folded in half over him) off of his head, placing him on the floor.

Goku grinned. "Hey, thanks! You know, that's the first time I've ever landed on someone! I wonder who did that, it's not like them to make me land somewhere unsafe, unless they're really mad at me and wow you're really tall," he finished, floating up to eye-level with Armstrong.

/WHAM. WHAM. WHAM./

"...Honey...?" Chi-Chi asked, her voice trembling.

Goku turned in midair. "Hey, Chi-Chi! What's for lunch?"

Chi-Chi sniffled. "...You... You..."

Goku Grinned™ at her.

"GOKU!" She pounced on him sobbing and trying to hug him to death.

/WHAM. WHAM. WHAM./

Gohan looked up from handing Mirai a pair of wire cutters. The other demi was halfway under some sort of technology. "Hi, Dad."

"Hey, Gohan!" The Saiyan Grinned™ and waved, his wife still hanging off him. "How's the alchemy coming?"

"It's alright," Gohan Grinned™ back.

/WHAM. WHAM. WHAM./

Goku noticed Vegeta sulking in a corner. "Hi, Veggie-chaaaaan!"

"Don't. Ever. Call. Me. That. AGAIN."

"Okay, Veggie-chan!" the dead warrior chirped.

"Why you—"

/CLANG/

"—ow."

"Hi, Goku."

"Hey, Bulma, still got the Frying Pan, I see."

/WHAM. WHAM. WHAM./

Chi-Chi continued sobbing.

Goku patted her on the back. "There, there, Chi-Chi. So where's Mirai?"

"Halfway under the air bike," Gohan said, supplying the demi in question a wrench.

Goku turned to the military personell. "Okay... Who are you guys?"

/WHAM. WHAM. WHAM./

A hand emerged from under the air bike, holding the wrench. "Screwdriver."

Mustang looked up and gestured at the people surrounding the table. "I'm Colonel Roy Mustang, this is Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, and—"

"Edward Elric," the blond alchemist cut him off, raising his hand. "And that's my little brother Al over there."

Al waved. "Hello!"

/WHAM. WHAM WHAM/

"_Screwdriver_."

"...And who's she?" Goku asked uncertainly.

"First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye," the CIC chorused.

"She's not normally like this..." Hughes volunteered.

Goku shrugged. "Okay!"

/WHAM WHAM—/

"..."

"..."

"_Screwdriver_."

"...Is she okay?" Goku asked.

Bulma walked over to the Lieutenant. "...It appears that she has knocked herself out."

Goku blinked. "Ooh... So, where are we going?"

Everyone (conscious and paying attention to the conversation) sweatdropped.

"Umm... Don't you know?" Gohan asked.

Goku Grinned™ sheepishly. "Nope, I just hears that you guys were going to another world and bugged King Enma to let me go."

The sweatdrops gained friends.

"Well, we're going to a country called Amestris. That's where they're all from," Gohan informed his father, gesturing to the military personell. "We're going there to get the Dragonballs in that world so that we can—OW! Mirai! What was _that_ for?"

The lavender-haired teen stuck his head out from under the air bike. "_SCREWDRIVER_!"

Gohan hobbled over to the toolbox, clutching his knee where the demi had hit him, retrieved the screwdriver, hobbled back to the air bike, and dropped it on Mirai's stomach. "There! Screwdriver!"

Mirai disappeared under the air bike again.

"So that we can restore Ed and Al's original bodies and..."

000000000000000000000000000000

Master Sergeant Fuery was standing outside Colonel Mustang's office in Central HQ, holding a huge stack of papers. After about five minutes of shifting, he managed to get a hand free and knocked.

/knock knock knock/

"Sir? Sir... Hello? Colonel?"

There was silence.

/knock knock knock/

"Sir? Sir, are you there?"

There was a pause. By this time, Fuery was looking decidedly worried.

"...Lieutenant Hawkeye? Lieutenant Colonel Hughes? Major Armstrong?"

More silence.

"Sir? Are you ignoring me, sir?"

More silence.

"Sir? I'm coming in now."

With some difficulty, (due to the 2-foot-tall stack of paperwork in his arms) he managed to open the door.

And stared.

"..."

Fuery dropped the papers and stared in shock.

"Lieutenant Havoc, the—!" He paused and looked back in the office again. He gulped.

"SOMEONE! HELP, THE COLONEL'S MISSING!"

000000000000000000000000000000

Bulma was in the transmit room with everyone else, holding a clipboard.

"Alrighty, then—everyone here? Me, check. Gohan, check. Vegeta, check. Goku—"

"Here!"

"Come down from the ceiling, Goku. My stuff, check. Colonel, check. Hughes, check. Havoc, check. Ed, check. Al, check. Armstrong—"

"And Riza!" Armstrong added.

"—Check and check. Everyone's here!" She put the clipboard down, pulled something out of her pocket and handed it to Piccolo. "Piccolo, this is a cell phone that will connect you to someone in Amestris who can contact us. You and Chi-Chi keep an eye out here, okay?"

000000000000000000000000000000

(wince) Poor Gohan. He's going to be limping for a week, with that hit. Mirai was really pissed off. And yes, the last two scenes were added.I found a plotsheet in my binder that we'd forgotten about.Anywho, questions, comments, concerns? Please drop me a review on your way out.


	11. Arrival in Amestris

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** it walks alone, BritKit, and Mordecai are sitting at a table

it walks alone: (scribble scribble)

BritKit: (plays with lotion bottle)

Mordecai: ... I. Smell. A. Vegetable. (notices tiny piece of lettuce leftover from lunch) Oh. It might be that.

BK: (pause) (stare) ...No comment.

IWA: (scribble scribble)

BK: (flips cap open and closed) Le sigh.

IWA: (pause) ...Nani?

BK: I'm bored.

IWA: I can see that, but... 'le sigh'? I thought you took Spanish.

BK: I _do_ take Spanish.

IWA: ...I'm just gonna write this off as another weird-BK-mannerism-thing.

BK: (continues to play with lotion) You do that.

(silence)

IWA: (scribble scribble)

M: ... (steals BK's hand lotion) (sniff) ... (sniffsniffsniffsniff)

BK: o.o (steals back lotion) Don't get high off my hand lotion!

M: No, I was gonna eat it.

BK: o.o

IWA: Whoopde freakin' wee-hah.

BK: How do you _spell_ that, anyways?

IWA: Whoopde space freakin' space wee dash hah. And I still don't own DBZ or FMA. (growls)

**A/N:** Note about the polls:

People, if you've already voted for a specific pairing, then you've voted for that pairing. I'm not gonna count it if you vote again. Not to mention it makes my life easier if you don't. Another thing: BK and I are quite willing to do yaoi if you want it. ...Thing #3: Neither of us can see Ed/Winry working. We see them as being like siblings, so that wouldn't work.

Pairing poll results so far:

Gohan/Ed: 1

Ed/Winry: 6

Mustang/Riza: 5

Gohan/Lust: 2

Vegeta/Lust: 1

Scar/Riza: 1

Gohan/Videl: 1

**A/N #2: I REPLACED THE LAST CHAPTER. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT, THEN DO SO NOW.** I added a couple scenes to the end that I found on a random plotsheet in my binder that I'd forgotten about. (sweatdrops) Heh heh. Sorry.

**A/N #3:** Yes, Hakuro's probably very OOC. Neither BK nor I know him that well. Deal with it.

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

**Last time:**

"—Check and check. Everyone's here!" She put the clipboard down, pulled something out of her pocket and handed it to Piccolo. "Piccolo, this is a cell phone that will connect you to someone in Amestris who can contact us. You and Chi-Chi keep an eye out here, okay?"

**Chapter 11: Arrival in Amestris**

"Y'know, Al, Amestris look reeeally different from a hundred miles up..." Ed mused.

"Uh-huh, sure." The suit of armor turned back to the two teen demi-Saiyans who were hanging on his every word. "So the circle represents..."

Ed sighed and turned back to the window, watching the world fly by beneath them. _It's so strange to be looking at everything from so high up,_ he thought, wincing as he remembered the take-off.

000000000000000 Flashback 000000000000000 (IWA: This is not Ed's flashback. Just wanted to clear that up. It's not from his POV, so it can't be him.)

Cain Fuery would have very much liked to be running back to the Colonel's office right then, but due to the fact that he was leading King Bradley, Major General Hakuro, and two other random important military people, he couldn't. As it was, he settled for babbling. (IWA: I call it Fuerybabble!)

"—I swear it, sir, they're all missing! Colonel Mustang, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, Major Armstrong, First Lieutenant Hawkeye, Second Lieutenant Havoc, Major Elric, his brother, AND his guest Mr. Son are all gone! No one's seen them since yesterday!"

"You had better be right about this, Master Sergeant," Hakuro growled. "No one of _your_ rank should be allowed to barge in on one of King Bradley's meetings, and you, sir, should not indulge him!"

"Ah, General, it's no trouble. Besides, if the Colonel really _is_ missing, an immediate investigation would be in order, and I would like to lead it myself."

The five trooped over to Mustang's office.

Falman and Breda were outside, Falman pacing back and forth in front of the door and Breda running around in circles clutching his head.

Bradley cleared his throat.

Both Falman and Breda froze, then snapped to attention and saluted. "Fuhrer President King Bradley, sir!" Falman said.

"At ease, soldiers. Now, what are you doing outside the Colonel's office?"

Falman took a breath. "Sir, Colonel Mustang, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, Major—"

"We KNOW who's missing, Warrant Officer," Hakuro interrupted, growling.

Falman blinked. "The aforementioned people were all last seen heading into this office yesterday afternoon. None were seen leaving, and the office is now empty. Therefore, logically, they will reappear in this room, Fuhrer Pres—"

There was a hum.

"Just 'sir' is fine, Warrant Officer," Bradley interrupted.

The hum got louder.

Hakuro looked miffed. "So the Colonel and his entourage _are_ all missing. Congratulations, Master Sergeant, you were right."

The hum was now very loud.

"What _is_ that noise?" Bradley asked.

/HUMMMM/

/FLASH/

/BANG/

/THUMP/

"..."

"..."

They all stared at the doors to Mustang's office.

"Goddammit Colonel!"

They jumped. (IWA: If applicable.)

"Watch where you're standing!"

Bradley stepped forward and opened the doors.

And stared.

On the far left, a blue-haired woman was counting a rather large number of suitcases, apparently being aided by a man with spiky black hair and a halo who was floating over said luggage.

Next to them, a black-haired teen was attempting to remove the last traces of what looked like motor oil from a lavender-haired teen's face. The latter did not appear to be at all pleased by this.

"I look FINE!"

"They judge on appearances here! Hold still!"

In the back, a flame-haired man in spandex was sulking.

Ed was sitting on the floor at Mustang's feet, glaring up at said Colonel, who was standing in front of his desk, smirking.

Al was next to them, looking as worried as a suit of armor could.

Hughes and Havoc were standing slightly off to the right side with Hughes holding what appeared to be a spare military jacket. A Lieutenant's, by the decorations.

Armstrong was on the far right with someone draped over his shoulder. (IWA: remember, Riza knocked herself out.) And sparkling. (BK: Obviously.)

Fuery whimpered. "...Colonel!" He ran across the room and tackled Mustang in a bear hug, sobbing.

Mustang sweatdropped. "There, there, Fuery. I'm back..." He patted his subordinate's head awkwardly.

Fuery wailed.

Ed rolled his eyes.

The floating man, the flame-haired man, and the two teens cringed, and all but the one in spandex clapped their hands over their ears.

"—10, 11, 12! Yep, they're all here!" the bluenette exclaimed.

Fuery continued to wail.

"Colonel, you're back. I'll expect a full report on your disappearance on my desk tomorrow morning," Bradley commanded.

"Yessir."

"Where is First Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Right here, sir!" Armstrong supplied, sparkling.

"And she is unconscious because...?"

The floating man scratched his head. "Well, she was hitting her head on this metal table..."

"GOKU!" Mustang yelled in his I-am-your-commanding-officer-obey-or-die voice.

The other shut up.

Mustang turned back to the Fuhrer. "I'll include that in my report."

Bradley raised an eyebrow.

There was silence. (IWA: Well, except for Fuery's wailing...)

Hakuro was feeling ignored. "Colonel!"

Mustang jumped. "Sir?"

"Care to introduce your... ah... guests?"

"Of course, sir." Fuery was still clinging to him. "May I present Ms. Bulma Briefs, Goku Son, Vegeta, Mirai Trunks Briefs, and Gohan Son, who has been with us for the past few weeks learning alchemy. They are the residents of the world Fullmetal disappeared to about a month ago."

"I see," Bradley replied, eyeing Goku, who gave him a Son Grin™.

There was a moment of silence, broken only by Fuery's sobs.

Gohan finished cleaning Mirai's face. "There! Thanks, Bulma," he said triumphantly, turning tho said genius and holding the handkerchief out to her.

Bulma eyed it critically. "...Wash it and give it back to me then."

"Okay."

The lavender-haired teen sulked.

"And may I inquire as to just _what_ is hovering over Mr. Son's head?"

Gohan looked up.

"The _elder_ Mr. Son."

"Oh! He means you, Dad."

Goku looked up. "Eh? Oh, this? It's a halo!"

"...A what?"

"A halo."

"Halo, noun. From the Greek _halōs_, threshing floor on which oxen trod in a circular path, round disk of the sun or moon, hence halo around the sun or moon. A symbolic ring or disk of light shown around the head of a saint, etc., as in pictures; nimbus: often used as a symbol of virtue or innocence."

"...One of those things you get when you die," Gohan explained.

"And Mr. Son has one because...?"

"He's dead," the DBZ people minus Goku and Vegeta chorused.

"Well, technically, anyway... He keeps coming back," Gohan added.

"Dead," Hakuro repeated.

"Yep."

"...Colonel..."

Mustang gulped. "Sir?"

Hakuro pointed at the door. "Hall. Now."

"Yessir." Mustang started trying to detach Fuery. "Uhh... Hughes, a little help here?"

Hughes smothered a grin at Mustang's predicament and pried Fuery off of him. The poor technician immediately latched onto Hughes instead.

The Fuery problem solved, Mustang started toward the door.

Bradley grabbed the back of his collar as he walked past. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, I want to hear this... Please continue."

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Oooh, what's Bradley going to do with the knowledge that yes, people CAN come back to life, but only if you do it a certain way? ... You'll have to ask BritKit. I haven't thought that far ahead yet. She's my muse: She'll know. And if she doesn't, she'll come up with something plausible on the spot. And yes, I DID look up the definition of 'halo'. There were three, and that was the one that fit best. Anywho, please leave a review on your way out.


	12. Explanations Take 2

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:**

BritKit: ...Um. Hi?

it walks alone: Please don't kill us...

BK: Maybe we should have mentioned that we don't update over the summer...

IWA: Just maybe... Especially considering that this chapter was written in July...

BK: It was?

IWA: Myup. July 14.

BK: o.o Eep.

IWA: Precisely. (turns to readers) We're really sorry, but...

BK: It's summer, so we don't see each other as often...

IWA: And don't have any 'study hall time' where there's nothing to do but write...

BK: So don't expect updates over the summer. Ever. Doesn't happen.

IWA: Also, we have decided to discontinue the idea of a FMA/DBZ/Discworld crossover, because we don't have a plot for it...

BK: ...And there would be waaaaaaay to many characters to keep track of. But go read it anyways!

IWA: It's a good series!

BK: Another word about updates—IWA and I wont have as many study halls together this year, two per week during first term and three per week during the second. So the updates may not come as fast.

IWA: We apologize. In advance.

BK: (whispers) I'm gonna try and drag IWA to stay after school sometimes so that we can continue working but I dunno if it's gonna work.

IWA: I heard that!

**A/N:** We have also decided (and again are really sorry) that there isn't space or time for us to do a pairing in 'Gohan in Amestris' this late in the story. In retrospect, waiting for a pairing we liked to come up was a bad idea. Our newer stories may or may not have pairings but they'll be decided (and added) at the beginning.

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

**Last time:**

Bradley grabbed the back of his collar as he walked past. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, I want to hear this... Please continue."

**Chapter 12: Explanations Take 2**

The Z-Senshi exchanged glances.

Gohan was on edge. "It's complicated. Anyway, we're here to help Ed and Al get their bodies back. There was something in Chikyuu that we thought we could use, but they aren't of our world, so it didn't work. There's something similar here, and we're here to look for it," he declared, his tone saying quite clearly that there was no further discussion.

Bradley nodded. "Why don't you spend the night here before leaving on this mission. Major General Hakuro, please show Mustang's visitors to the guest quarters. Colonel, I want that report on my desk in an hour." He turned then, and walked out.

Gohan relaxed marginally.

Mirai picked up a few suitcases. So did Vegeta, after Bulma glared at him. Between two of them, they somehow managed to carry all 12 of Bulma's suitcases and still see where they were going.

Hakuro was looking none too pleased with this arrangement. "If you'd follow me."

After a very awkward 10-minute walk down bare hallways, they arrived at a set of relatively comfortable bedrooms.

Hakuro turned to them stiffly. "These will be your rooms for the night." He turned and walked off.

Vegeta dumped his load on the floor just inside the door of the first room. "There. Happy, Onna?" he growled, stalking off to sulk in the hallway.

Mirai looked at the pile of luggage and sighed, then hopped over them and started putting his own suitcases down.

Having run out of floor space, he swung the last one up on the bed.

"Ow!" the suitcase chorused.

Mirai blinked, then flipped the lid of the suitcase up.

Trunks and Goten sat inside, both clutching their foreheads and whimpering.

Mirai smirked. "I _knew_ suitcases didn't talk." He turned around. "MOM!"

Bulma walked over. "What—" She stopped, staring at the Brats. She twitched. "TRUNKS—!"

In the hallway, Vegeta Smirked™.

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Again, we're really sorry about the lateness of the update and the shortness of the chapter. We hadn't really finished it by the last time BK was over here at my house to work on this, but we decided to give it to you anyways because you've been waiting so long... and you're probably going to kill us anyways. (hides from the pitchforks and torches)


	13. The Flashback Ends

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:**

BritKit: Alright people, welcome to the next—

it walks alone: And finally updated/typed.

BK: chapter of Gohan in Amestris! (mutters) Shaddap IWA

IWA: Since this chapter is so late, we decided to send you recaps of what we were doing

last Friday when we could have been working on the story!

BK: Is this really a good idea?

IWA: Probably not, but who cares. ANYWAYS, last Friday we were at an amusement park called Seabreeze with our other friends SailorKMoonie (think world domination disclaimer) and 'Nothing'. 'Nothing' is called 'Nothing' because when we asked what penname she would like her response was "Nothing".

BK: I think they get it.

IWA: Shaddap. ONWARDS TO THE MEMORIES!

/weird humming noises/

…

(BK, IWA, SKM, and 'N' and various other people are sitting in a family room with several games spread out over the—)

&BK: Whups, too far.&

(floor. There are purple streamers stretched across the room—)

&IWA: Isn't that your birthday party?&

(and a pile of wrapping paper on the floor. IWA, BK, and 'N' are playing a board game )

&BK: Yup. Like I said: Too far. Must be something wrong with the machine. (smacks memory replay machine) Lets try this again shall we?&

/weird humming sound/

…

(group is waiting in line in front of a ride)

&BK: Aha! Right memory!&

'Nothing': Noooooooooooooooooooooooo….

BK, SailorKMoonie, IWA: YES!

'N': I don't wanna go on the screaming eagle!

BK: Tough!

'N': Dammit... (gets on ride)

/more humming/

BK: Onwards to the Spring!

SKM: Isn't that a little kids' ride?

IWA: What ride?

BK: It's kinda like the Tower of Terror except smaller, shorter, and not terror themed.

IWA: Ah.

(they get on ride)

(ride pulls seats up)

'N': I noticed last time that they drop us eight times…

(ride drops)

BK: (squeals)

IWA: (laughs)

SKM: (shrieks)

'N': One…

/more humming/

(BK, SKM, and IWA are sitting on Carousel horses)

IWA: One seventeen-year-old, one sixteen-year-old, one fifteen—

SKM: Almost sixteen!

IWA: -year-old, all sitting on a carousel. Sidesaddle. What is wrong with this picture?

BK: Absolutely nothing?

IWA: That's what I thought.

/more humming/

(group is standing in line, again, looking at a wooden fence outside a ride. The fence is covered in writing.)

SKM: Anyone got a pen?

IWA: Yup. (hands pen to SKM)

SKM: (scribbles on wall) Hah! (writing) Signed, Hot…Moon…Princess! 9/1/06. Done!

BK: Gimme that. (scribbles BritKit under SKM's signature)

IWA: (takes pen from BritKit and writes it walks alone under that)

BK: I have an idea. Gimme the pen. (on another board, starts writing)

SKM: (reads) 'If life gives you lemons, give them back and demand chocolate!' Nice one!

IWA: My turn. (scribbles) 'Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!'

'N': Nice philosophy.

IWA: Thanks! (scribbles some more) 'When life gives you lemons, make grape juice! Then sit back and let the rest of the world wonder how ya did it.'

BK: My senior quote, as of now! (grabs pen)

IWA: (reading) '"Man, Quatre loves to blame himself for everything. Sooner or later, he's gonna say there's no air in space because he didn't work on it hard enough!" Duo, Gundam Wing.' My turn again!

(IWA scribbles)

BK: 'Cats are poetry in motion, dogs are gibberish in neutral!', great one!

(line starts moving)

BK: Aw damn, we have to go in…

/humming again/

(group is strapped into a roller coaster car, BK and IWA in the front, 'N' and SKM in the back (facing backwards). The ride starts.)

BK: I love this ride…

'N': I hate roller coasters. How did I let you guys talk me into this?

SKM: No idea, omygosh! Lookit the sunse—AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(ride swirls around, BK, SKM, and IWA screaming)

(ride pauses)

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

BK: Pretty sunset!

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(ride swerves)

IWA: Ow! My shoulders!

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

BK: Pretty sunset!

(ride swerves)

BK and IWA: Ow!

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(ride comes to a stop)

BK: That was great!

IWA: My shoulders hurt……

/end memory machine bit/

BK: And such, our day at Seabreeze. You may see the message for yourself, as well as our quotes—

IWA: And any we forgot.

BK: —at the fence outside the Gyrosphere. So anyone who lives near Seabreeze can go and look at that

IWA: And we still don't own FMA, DBZ or Seabreeze.

BK: Though we wish we did.

IWA: God, yes…..

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

**Last time:**

Mirai smirked. "I _knew_ suitcases didn't talk." He turned around. "MOM!"

Bulma walked over. "What—" She stopped, staring at the Brats. She twitched. "TRUNKS—!"

In the hallway, Vegeta Smirked™.

**Chapter 13: The Flashback Ends**

Everyone from Chikyuu were all standing in the hallway. (BK: The Brats had lumps on their heads and were pouting. IWA: Well, what do you expect?)

Bulma snapped her fingers. "I forgot to ask if any of the military crew wanted to come with us!"

Gohan looked over at her. "Ed and Al are..."

"Aside from them." She looked around. "Hey, there's a phone!" she exclaimed. She went over to investigate it. "It's an ancient phone, but it's still a phone." Bulma looked at the numbers written on the wall next to the phone buttons. "Front desk, front desk... Ah! Cadet on duty! That must be it!" She called the number indicated. "Hello! This is Mrs. Bulma Briefs. I need someone to send General Hakuro back up to our rooms please..."

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"General Hakuro! General Hakuro!"

The General in question turned around. A low-ranking officer (IWA: who is so unimportant that I'm not going to give him a name...) came running up to him, panting.

"General Hakuro, sir! A Mrs. Bulma Briefs wishes to talk to you, sir."

"What..."

"She was very insistent, sir."

The General grumbled, but turned around anyway.

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General Hakuro wrenched the door open.

"Oh, good! You're back!" Bulma exclaimed. "I need to talk to Colonel Mustang and the others, but I don't know the way. I was wondering if—"

The General interrupted her. "Look, Mrs. Briefs, I don't know or care how things are done wherever you come from, but here, important people such as the Colonel and myself are not at the beck and call of mere civilians!"

Bulma blinked, "Excuse me?"

"You should be very honored that the Fuhrer has allowed you to stay in these rooms, as they are specifically reserved for those requiring the military's protection or visiting dignitaries! We have all shown you great kindness but we are not to be taken advantage of!"

Bulma frowned. "Now listen here, you--"

Hakuro didn't even pause. "The Colonel has a very important job to do, as do I. He has missed several days to 'help' you already and cannot afford to miss many more! I also have duties I must return to and we do not, I repeat do NOT--"

"General, I don't believe you were ever properly introduced to my husband," Bulma cut in sweetly, smirking slightly. "May I present His Highness, Prince—"

"My father is _dead_, onna."

"My apologies, Vegeta." Bulma turned back to Hakuro. "May I present His Majesty, King Vegeta of the planet Vegetasei." She smiled sweetly at the flummoxed officer. "What was that about ordinary civilians again?"

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Mustang collapsed into the chair behind his desk. "Glad that's over..."

Ed snorted, still sitting on the floor. "And just what are you gonna do about all that information that you promised in your 'report? I don't thing the Z-senshi will stand for you letting out that much information. And Riza will kill you if you let it out that she lost composure."

The mentioned Liutenant was being taken to the infirmiry by Armstrong, and the rest of the crew were standing around, readying themselves for an argument, when the door opened, revealing a stiff and obviously very-unhappy-to-be-there General Hakuro.

"Guests to see you, Colonel."

Bulma stuck her head in. "Hey there!" As she walked the rest of the way into the room she turned to Hakuro and said sweetly. "You can leave now." He didn't move though, so and the rest of the Z—Senshi walked around him as they entered the room.

"We decided not to stay the night," Bulma informed them. "If it's alright with Ed and Al, we'd like to leave right away." At the brothers' nod, she turned to the rest of the group. "Will any of you be coming with?"

Mustang shook his head. "I can't, I've got too much paperwork to catch up on, and without Hawkeye as well. She has her own duties to do."

Hughes also declined. "Can't be away for too long, or people'll start getting suspicious again."

Havoc shook his head. "Naah. I don't think I'd like traipsing around the countryside or whatever it is you're planning on doing."

Falman, Fuery (IWA: Who had calmed down... (sweatdrops)), and Breda shook their heads as well. "What he said," Breda added, pointing at Havoc. The others nodded.

"Alright then. Ed? Al? Let's go." Bulma turned and lead the DBZ crew and the Elric brothers out. Vegeta smirked at General Hakuro on the way out.

Said General stared straight ahead for a minute, then turned and left as well.

000000000000000 End Flashback 000000000000000

Ed wandered into the cockpit. Bulma was alternating looking at some sort of radar on the dashboard, and an ordinary map of Amestris in her hand.

"So where're we headed?"

"East, looks like," she replied, not looking up. She examined the radar closer. "Looks like a little town out in the middle of nowhere." She turned to the map in her lap. "Xenotime, according to this."

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And that's the end of Chapter 13! Wonder how Ed'll react to that... Well, find out next time! And I'll try to get the chapters out faster, now that BK and I'll see each other on a regular basis. ... o.o I just realized that over half the chapter is disclaimer. Sorry. BK writes those, you know. I just do some heavy-duty beta work on them. I didn't realize it would be that long...


	14. The First Dragonball

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer: **(it walks alone, BritKit, and InDesperateNeedofRitalin are sitting at a lunch table)

it walks alone: Hello all!

BritKit: (glare at table)

IWA: First, I would like to apologize for the extremely late update! I captured BK and roped her into helping with my Humanities midterm paper and we had some trouble getting back to the story. So, apologies all around!

InDesperateNeedofRitalin: Yay!

IWA: Alright, next on the agenda is "the newbie". Readers, meet InDesperateNeedofRitalin! IDNR, meet the readers.

IDNR: Hi!

IWA: BK actually met IDNR at the beginning of the school year, but this is the first time she's been around for the disclaimer writing. She is _also_ anime/manga obsessed, and in Japanese Club with me, BK, SailorKMoonie, 'Nothing', and a few other people who don't have pen names yet.

IDNR: And K-sensei! Who isn't even getting paid and lets us meet in his room and eat popcorn and watch anime and is trying _very_ hard to teach us Japanese!

BK: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why IDNR is in desperate need of Ritalin.

IDNR: Wheeeeeeee!

IWA: Mmyup. But we're getting off topic.

IDNR: There's a topic?

IWA: Yup. Before we do anything else, tho, I am going to state right now that I do _not_ own FMA or DBZ. Now that that's over with, we can get on to what has been happening over the past month or two in our high school lives. For those of you who just want the goddamn chapter already, you may skip this.

-

--

---

--

-

IWA: Alright! Onward with the lives report (Yes, we _do_ have lives). We have very very very important news! BK is sick!!!

(All wait for that to sink in. BK continues to glare at table)

IWA: Now where to start…

IDNR: The beginning?

IWA: Good idea! Alright, for those of you who don't know, our dear BK is Jewish.

BK: Sorry if it bothers you.

IDNR: Why _would_ it?

BK: I dunno. But at least half the world has been out for our blood for most of history, so…

IWA: Eh-hem.

(BK and IDNR shut up)

IWA: Moving on. Anywho—at the beginning of October, BK celebrated Yom Kippur and had to fast all day. That night, she and her mom went out for Japanese food.

BK: Beef sukiyaki and veggie tempura. (nods) good stuff.

IDNR: _No_ idea what you're talking about…

IWA: (glare) And when she got home (a few hours later) she had dessert and went to bed.

BK: And promptly got back up and threw all of it up into the toilet.

IDNR: Ewww.

BK: Major eww. And very not fun.

IWA: That cycle continued over the next few days. BK would eat very lightly and then have dinner and then throw it up.

BK: I'll take it from here. So that Thursday (it started Monday night) Mom had set me up with a doctor appointment. The doctor said it was probably gastritis (aka stomach acid ate into stomach lining) and to give it a few days, and if it wasn't healed by Monday to start taking acid-blocker pills. Then Thursday night was the worst yet. So Mom said "Screw this, I'm getting you the medicine."

IDNR: …Wait, why was your mom—

IWA: She's a doctor too.

IDNR: Oh.

BK: Anyways I started on this handy stuff called Zantac—which made me feel a WHOLE lot better—for a while anyways.

IWA: Don't own Zantac.

IDNR: Just for a while?

BK: I kept relapsing.

IWA: That sucks.

BK: No kidding. The first time I didn't take my Zantac—I threw up again.

IDNR: Funfun.

BK: Yup. So Mom set me up with another doctor appointment, and I threw up the night before, even though I took my meds.

IDNR: How does that work?

BK: Shut up and let me finish.

IDNR: Meep.

BK: Anyways so my mom and the doc decided that I _definitely_ didn't have gastritis, and the doc made me get a blood test.

IWA: Fun.

BK: Oh, definitely. So everything came back normal except for the test for this bacteria H-pylori.

IDNR: I thought you didn't know what you had yet?

BK: I'm not FINISHED yet!

IDNR: Oh.

BK: _So_ they said I had to go see a specialist and prescribed a bunch of horse pills to take twice a day—

IWA: Horse pills??

BK: Really really big pills.

IWA: Oh, okay.

BK: So I came home from work and took one dose that night.

IDNR: And threw it back up?

BK: How _ever_ did you guess? Mom said it was probably because I took 'em on an empty stomach and let me stay home from school the next day. Next day I took them after breakfast and they stayed down.

IDNR: Yay!

BK: Yup. Except when Mom got home she said we had to stop everything—the specialist said H-pylori tests false positive a lot and to stop the antibiotics and he wanted to see me. _Soooo_ Mom got me an appointment and we went to the hospital and told the _whole_ deal to two different doctors.

IWA: The hospital?

BK: Yup. The specialist said that he wanted to check some things out so I'm going to get an X-ray and this pH-measuring thing stuck down my nose for 24 hours AND I have an appointment to get a tube with a camera stuck down my throat!

IDNR: Oh that's fun! I have pictures from my dad's!

BK: -.-

IWA: -.-

IDNR: (happy)

BK: You're weird.

IDNR: Yup!

IWA: And slightly scary.

IDNR: Really??

BK and IWA: (sweatdrop)

BK: Anyways so that's why I've missed so much school and won't be in school a week from Tuesday.

IWA: You poor thing.

BK: (le sigh) Thanks.

IDNR: (happy)

"Speaking" _Thoughts _(Me to you)

**Last time:**

Ed wandered into the cockpit. Bulma was alternating looking at some sort of radar on the dashboard, and an ordinary map of Amestris in her hand.

"So where're we headed?"

"East, looks like," she replied, not looking up. She examined the radar closer. "Looks like a little town out in the middle of nowhere." She turned to the map in her lap. "Xenotime, according to this."

**Chapter 14: The First Dragonball**

After landing and capsulizing the plane, Ed and Al led the group into the town of Xenotime. A little girl ran up to them, a basket of fruit in her hands.

"Mr. Edward! Mr. Alphonse!"

They all looked over.

"Hey, Elisa!" Al greeted her.

Vegeta glared.

The poor girl froze when she noticed Vegeta. Then she shivered and ran over to Ed.

A man had looked up when she called, and was now walking up to the group.

"Master Edward, Master Alphonse," he greeted.

"Belsio," Ed replied, grinning. "Been a while."

Belsio smiled. "Indeed. So what brings you all the way to Xenotime?"

"We're looking for a Dragonball."

"What's a 'Dragonball'?"

"Well, it's a small sphere, about so big," Ed cupped his hands together, "and colored, with something else of a different color in the middle of it." He winced. "Sorry. I can't give you a better description, but I haven't personally seen it, so..."

Belsio nodded. "I understand. Actually," he continued, "we've found something that matches that description. A 6-inch diameter sphere, dark green with a blue alchemic symbol in it."

Ed's face lit up. "That'll be it! Do you know where it is?" he asked eagerly.

Belsio turned back to the group and smiled. "Of course. The Tringham brothers have it."

"Great!" Al exclaimed. "I'll get to see Fletcher again!"

"Crap," Ed said, deflating. "I'll have to see Russel again..." He sighed. "All right, so where are they?"

The other sighed. "We're not exactly sure. No one's seen them for days. They're probably in their lab."

"So where's the lab?" Al asked.

Belsio pointed up at a building half-way up a nearby mountain. "That's it."

"Thanks!" Ed said, grinning, and started running in the direction of the Tringham brothers' lab.

The others followed.

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Half an hour later:

The group was hiking up the hill in front of the lab when Ed grumbled. "I hate those two."

Al turned to him. "Come on, nii-san, they're not bad."

Ed just kept grumbling.

Soon enough, they arrived at the front door. Bulma stepped up and rang the door bell.

No response.

A minute later, she tried again.

Still no response.

"Try the door," Gohan suggested.

The blue-haired genius shrugged and did so. It was unlocked, so they went in.

After a bit of wandering and prying Bulma and Mirai off various experiments, they found the lab proper.

It was a mess.

Random objects had been strewn all over the room, from note papers to beakers to what looked like ancient chemistry sets. The center of the room, though, was clear. There was an intricate transmutation circle drawn on the floor, with the first Amestris Dragonball in the middle of it.

Fletcher was curled up against the wall, asleep. Russel was sprawled out near the transmutation circle, obviously exhausted.

They all stared.

"Yeesh," Mirai said, looking around. "This place is messier than Mom's lab."

Bulma glared at him.

"What? It's true!" he said defensively.

Ed decided to ignore them and stepped up to the transmutation circle, made sure it wasn't active, (it wasn't) and stepped into the center with the Dragonball. He then picked it up and walked over to Russel, who merely blinked up at him tiredly.

Al, who'd come up behind his brother, looked down at the silver-eyed teen. "Maybe you two should go to bed."

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The next day:

Russel stumbled down the stairs sometime around noon, half asleep.

Ed looked up from where he was finishing his lunch and snickered when Russel ran into the table.

Bulma, who was busy cooking up a feast with the help of a couple of cook-bots, glanced over, picked up an already-full plate, and set it in front of the younger teen, who had sat down, miraculously not missing the chair.

"Eat fast," Ed recommended. "It'll all be gone soon."

"Uh?"

Ed sighed, picked up his plate, and put it in the sink. "Eat."

Russel turned blearily back to his food and did as ordered. By the time he was finished, he was awake enough to be coherent.

Bulma took his plate. "Okay, you two. I'm going to call the others now, so get out of the way."

Russel just blinked at her. Ed grabbed his arm and dragged him to the wall.

"Um, what's going on?"

Ed grinned. "Just watch."

Bulma finished putting the rest of the food on the table (which sagged under the weight), checked to make sure that Ed and Russel were out of the way, then turned to the doorway. (IWA: After removing herself from the line of attack, of course.)

"BOYS!! LUNCH!!" she screamed.

There was a pause. The the partially-open door slammed open (IWA: Poor wall... BK: Poor DOOR!) and a gust of wind came tearing through the doorway, flattening Ed and Russel against the wall.

Suddenly, six people were sitting at the table stuffing their faces. (IWA: You can guess who they are. (sweatdrops))

Russel, once he got his breath back, stared at those six people, open mouthed. Ed glanced over at him and snickered.

"Eh, you get used to it after a while."

Russel just kept staring.

Meanwhile, the mountain of food was shrinking at an alarming rate.

Ed regained control of his laughter. "Russel?"

No response.

"...Russel?"

Still no response.

/Thwack/

"OW!" Russel yelped, cradling the back of his head. The younger teen turned to the golden-eyed boy. "What was that for?!"

Ed shrugged. "You weren't responding. So, d'you want to know what this thing is or don't you?" he asked, pulling the Dragonball out of his pocket.

"Uhh..." Russel glanced back to the table. About half the food was gone. "...Yeah, I... guess. ...You know what it is?"

Ed rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Come on, we're going into the hall. You're too distracted," the shorter blond announced, grabbing the other's arm and dragging him out of the room.

Russel yelped again, following the diminutive State Alchemist into the hallway.

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IWA: And chapter 14 is done! (cheers)

BK: (slaps her) You had it done for a while, you just didn't get around to typing it!

IWA: (cradles head) Oww...

BK: I had to yell at you about it every morning for weeks to get you to do it!

IWA: Sorry! (ducks another slap from BK) Well, it's typed and posted now, what else do you want?!

BK: The rest of the story done so we can start something else!

IWA: ...Yeah. Sorry.

IDNR: (blink) Wow. You two sure are violent, aren't you?

BK & IWA: (turn to IDNR)

BK: Only with her.

IWA: Gee thanks. Oh yeah, readers, please leave me a review on your way out. I apologize again for the long wait.


	15. Overview

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:**

BritKit: Alright, this is about a month late, but what the heck. I had a New Year's/anime party, and, as per usual, things got... well...

it walks alone: Weird.

BK: Thankyou. So. Welcome to le PARTY!!

(IWA, BK, SKM, 'N', and IDNR are sitting in BK's basement, 'N' is in a rocking chair looking at the 'Battle of the Sexes' board game. SKM and IDNR are looking at SKM's comic encyclopedia. BK and IWA are spreading out movies/anime.)

'Nothing': "Men are more likely to go colorblind.' ...Suckers.

BritKit: So, what're we gonna watch first?

SailorKMoonie: Cinderella!

'N': Wha?

SKM: Because IWA's never seen it.

BK and InDesperateNeedofRitalin: WHAAAAT?!

'N': Wow.

it walks alone: So I live under a rock!

BK: But but but but... you're _17_!!

InDesperateNeedofRitalin: It's Cinderella! You HAVE to see it!

BK: Okay, we're watching that first. (puts DVD in)

(screen hums)

IWA: D... V... D. ... And it's off-center.

(we watch Cinderella)

BK's mom: Girls! Dinner!

All: Foooood!!

(group troops upstairs for stir fry)

(all sit at table)

SKM: Well, you guys insisted—I brought the FMA movie.

BK and IWA: YAAAY!

IDNR: Have you seen it?

SKM: No, my dad said it wasn't that good.

BK: Why not?

SKM: 'Cause they both end up in Germany trying to get back to Amestris.

BK: Doesn't Al, like, not have his memories?

IWA: He has the memories from in his body, but not while he was in the armor.

BK: Oh. What about Ed?

SKM: He keeps having dreams about it, but he's not sure if they're real.

IWA: It's his subconscious trying to tell his conscious. (pause) Coming from the daughter of the psychology professor.

BK: Yeah... I can just see a mini Amestris-dressed Ed banging on a door labeled 'Conscious' yelling "There's something you need to know!" with a mini Germany-dressed Ed on the other side of the door with a pillow over his head ignoring him.

IWA: Mao.

SKM: Mao.

IWA: Mao.

SKM: Oranges. (takes an orange slice)

BK: You two are SO weird.

'N': Moving ON.

IDNR: (giggles)

BK: Hey, 'Nothing', why does your sweatshirt say 'Sensei' on it?

IDNR: What's 'sensei'?

IWA: Teacher.

IDNR: 'N', you're a teacher??

'N': Technically, no.

SKM: So, why...?

'N': I'm a black belt.

BK: Huh?

'N': 'Cause black belts are teachers to _every_-OW! (slams elbow on SKM's chair)

IWA: Nice.

'N': Ow. Ow, ow, ow...

(group finishes dinner)

(all head back into basement)

IWA: Hey, can we play Talisman now?

(BK: Just so ya know—Talisman is a board game—a magical quest game. We played it last year too.

IWA: And it's old. I looked, and I can't find it in stores. (growls))

(group plays)

IWA: (draws card) Tomb. A tomb will remain on this spot for the rest of the game. Dammit! Why do I always get the stuff that sticks around?

SKM: Yeah, tombs have a nasty habit of always being there.

BK: (rolls) (moves) (draws card) Hobgoblin. Strength 3.

'N': (rolls for hobgoblin) Strength 7!

BK: (rolls) 1. Damn.

SKM: (rolls) 4. 1, 2, 3, 4. Fields. 1, 2, 3, 4. Plains. I think I like the fields a lot better. (draws) Shit. Damn bandits!

(The night continues. We watch Kyou Kara Maou, Castle in the Sky, Pretear, and drink sparkling grape juice & cider. We squirt silly string all over BK's basement and go to bed 3 AM. We have waffles for breakfast.)

BK: And such was New Year's, 2006-2007.

IWA: Standard disclaimer applies.

**A/N:** By the way, this entire chapter (almost) is a recap of Alchemy and Saiyans and Gohan in Amestris. It's Ed explaining things to Russel, though, so it's gonna be pretty funny. It made BK laugh when she beta-ed it. It's also going to be pretty short. Sorry 'bout that. And if you find any mistakes in the timeline, please tell me.

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you)

**Last time:**

Ed rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Come on, we're going into the hall. You're too distracted," the shorter blond announced, grabbing the other's arm and dragging him out of the room.

Russel yelped again, following the diminutive State Alchemist into the hallway.

**Chapter 15: Overview**

"Okay, let's see here," Ed started. "Paying attention now?" he asked, waving his hand n Russel's face.

The other blond caught the wayward hand. "Yes, Ed, I'm paying attention."

"Good." Ed yanked his hand back. "Let's see, where to start..."

"The beginning would be nice..." Russel interjected dryly.

Ed glared at him. "Yeah. I know. I was trying to figure out where the beginning _was_. Well, a few months ago I got dumped in this place called Chikyuu. While looking for a way to get back I met those guys," he gestured back to the kitchen, "and found out some really weird stuff." Russel quirked an eyebrow. "Anyway, we've got two-way communication between Mustang's office and Capsule Corp. A few weeks after I got back, Gohan popped up, and I wound up teaching him alchemy,—" (Russel shook his head pityingly) "—didn't get very far, though. Then me, Gohan, and a few others went back and got all seven of Chikyuu's Dragonballs—" (he held up the Amestris one) "—together, summoned the dragon god, didn't get our wish granted, and now we're here to find these seven and wish again. Hopefully this time it'll work." He looked up hopefully, panting slightly. "Any questions?"

Russel looked skeptically at him. "Riiight. You glossed over so much there, I don't even know where to start." He thought for a moment. "Let's start with how did you get there in the first place?"

Ed blinked. "That's a very good question. When I figure it out, I'll let you know."

Russel stared. "Oookay. Umm... How about 'those guys'. They're not exactly normal, are they?"

"Well, if by not normal you mean not entirely human, yeah. They aren't."

Russel blinked, dumbfounded. "'Not entirely human'?" he parroted.

Ed put his head in his hands. "Ooh, I shouldn't have said that. Well, you see, there's this alien race called Saiyans. I don't know much about them, but from what I do know, they're insanely strong, fast, eat a lot—" (Russel snorted. "No kidding.") "—can fly, and can shoot energy out of their hands like weapons."

"Uhh... I'll have to take your word for a lot of that. So, what's this whole 'Dragonball', 'dragon god' thing?"

Ed sighed explosively. "Whew boy. Give me the hard ones, whydontcha? Uhh, well, if you get all seven Dragonballs together, you can summon the dragon god and he'll grant a set number of wishes. The Chikyuu dragon god was called Shenlong. I don't know what ours is. And don't ask me how it works—the summoning _or_ the wishes. I don't know. Anything else?"

Russel blinked. "Not really, not with the way you glossed over everything so quickly. And anyway, I'm suffering from a severe case of brain overload. It'll take a while to assimilate all that."

"Good. I'm gonna go pack," Ed finished, and walked off.

Russel blinked, turned, and walked into the kitchen. Fletcher and Al were sitting at the table, Bulma was cooking something breakfasty for Fletcher, who looked very sleepy, and there was a mountain of dishes in the sink. Russel guessed, with the part of his mind that wasn't in the middle of an information-overload-induced black out, that they had come from underneath the food the... 'Saiyans', wasn't it?... had inhaled. He wrenched his attention back to sitting at the table, determined not to fall and make an idiot out of himself, as his legs seemed to want to do.

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/poof/

Russel and Fletcher stared.

"What... is that...?" Russel managed weakly after a few false starts.

Ed grinned at him. "It's a plane. It flies, believe it or not."

"_How_?"

Ed shrugged. "Don't look at me. I don't know."

"Ed, we're going!" Bulma called, sticking her head out of the doorway into the plane.

"Be there in a sec!" Ed called back.

Bulma, satisfied, disappeared fully back into the plane.

"Well, see ya," Ed said, extending a hand to Russel, who smiled and clasped it.

"It was good to see you again, Ed."

"You too. Bye Fletcher!" Ed called back over his shoulder, already jogging towards the plane.

Russel and Fletcher remained there, waving until the plane was out of sight.

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IWA: Chapter 15 is now typed!

BK: (grumbles) Took you long enough...

IWA: Sorry! (ducks, but BK doesn't try to hit her) Well, questions, comments, feedback? Review! Review! Review!

BK: (shakes head) Sorry, she's been hyper all day...

IWA: (continues chanting "Review!" until you leave this page, then her voice cuts out)


	16. Liore

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:**

it walks alone: Sorry for dropping off the face of the planet like that...

BritKit: You didn't even tell me you were going to!

IWA: (ducks) Sorry!

BK: Anywho, sorry for not updating since February.

IWA: We've finished the story now, all we need to do is type and post it. I will attempt to post one chapter per day, and that is the only way to get it all posted before I disappear of the face of the planet again when I go to college in three weeks.

BK: (glare)

IWA: It's not my fault!

BK: Standard disclaimer applies.

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_

**Last time:**

"Well, see ya," Ed said, extending a hand to Russel, who smiled and clasped it.

"It was good to see you again, Ed."

"You too. Bye Fletcher!" Ed called back over his shoulder, already jogging towards the plane.

Russel and Fletcher remained there, waving until the plane was out of sight.

**Chapter ****16: ****Liore**

In Liore, at about the same time:

A small child hunted through a pile of debris and rubble that had once been a house, looking for anything he could use.

After a few minutes of struggling, he finally succeeded in pushing aside a chunk of wall that had fallen over and found what looked to be the remains of a box. In the center of the pile of wood chips was a small green ball made of some pretty green glass. The child picked it up.

_Maybe if I offer this to the sun god __Leto__, He'll make the fighting stop,_ he thought.

So the kid took the stone to the temple dedicated to Leto, snuck in, put it on the altar, whispered a prayer, and left.

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In the plane, somewhere over Amestris, Al and Mirai Trunks were playing cards, Ed and the Brats were sleeping (they'd worn themselves out arguing earlier), and Goku and Vegeta were elsewhere. Gohan walked into the cockpit where Bulma was pouring over various maps with the Dragon Radar in her hand.

"Where to?" the demi-Saiyan asked.

"Looks like the closest one is right around here," the blue-haired genius informed him, pointing to the blip on the radar. "I'm just trying to figure out if it's in a city or just lying around."

"Want me to go get Al?"

"No thanks. I'll get this in a minute."

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A few hours later, Ed woke up and wandered into the cockpit.

"Decided on a destination yet?" he asked.

"Mm-hmm. I think the Dragonball is somewhere around this town here--It'll be easier to tell once we get closer," Bulma answered.

"What town where?"

"Liore, looks like."

"Okay, well, Al and I have been there before. Shouldn't be too much of a problem."

Bulma smiled at him. "Great!" She turned back to the console. "We should probably land soon," she added, flipping a few switches.

A few minutes later, they had landed and capsulized the plane. The group then trooped into Liore proper and promptly stopped, looking around them in shock.

Ed continued on a few steps, then stopped as well.

Buildings had been reduced to rubble, streets had been torn up, bodies littered the area--men, women, and children alike--and there were blood spatters everywhere.

Goku frowned. "What happened here?"

Al gulped. "I... I don't know. It didn't... It didn't used to be like this."

The group started walking again. (Al had to shake Ed out of his shock to get him to move.) Any people they saw avoided them like the plague, hiding as well as they could, shielding their children , and watching them fearfully. Looking down alleyways, they could see troops of military men walking around.

When they turned the corner, Ed ran into someone, knocking them both down.

"Ow!"

"Oof!" Ed exclaimed. He looked up to see who he'd run into, and his eyes went wide. "Rose?"

The girl looked up. "Oh! Edward!"

"Sorry!" he exclaimed, standing up and offering her his hand to help her up. She took it.

"Don't worry about it," she told him, smiling wanly at him.

He looked around. "What happened, Rose?"

Her smile fell. "After Father Cornello was exposed, he performed another miracle, then started sowing dissent among his followers a little while ago. Then the military stepped in and it became a civil war."

Ed's eyes went wide. "Cornello...? _I_ did this?!"

"No, no!" Rose quickly reassured him. "I think you just accelerated something that was already happening."

"Well, yeah, but it's still my fault..." Ed muttered.

Rose put her hands on her hips. "Edward, stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault!" She sighed. "How about you bring your new friends over for tea?"

Bulma smiled. "Sure!"

After a short walk, Rose led them into a still-standing house and started boiling water for tea.

Some kids ran in from the back.

"Rose! Rose! Lookit wha--" they froze when they noticed the others and hid.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Rose asked, turning to the kids.

"Who're they?" one of them asked distrustfully.

Rose smiled reassuringly. "They're friends," she told them gently.

Goku grinned and went over to the kids. "Hey! I'm Goku!"

They blinked.

The Saiyan held out his hand. "Wanna play?"

The kid in front of him grinned. "Yeah!"

The crowd of kids immediately surrounded Goku and herded him outside.

Rose blinked. "Good with kids, isn't he?"

Gohan laughed. "Yeah. He's a kid himself. Never really grew up."

Rose smiled. "This country could use some more people like him."

Vegeta snorted.

"So, Ed, who are your friends?" Rose asked, pouring tea.

Ed introduced them all while Rose passed out the tea. (IWA: I don't feel like introducing them all AGAIN. Deal with it.)

Rose smiled. "I'm Rose."

Bulma leaned forward. "Rose, have you ever heard of something called a Dragonball?"

Rose blinked. "No, sorry."

Bulma nodded. "You probably wouldn't call it by the same name." She fished around in her bag for a moment, then pulled out the Dragonball that they'd found in Xenotime. "It looks like this."

Rose picked it up and examined it. "...I think I've seen something like this before--It was put as an offering in the church."

The bluenette smiled. "Well, we know where it is, now."

Mirai frowned. "Yeah, but if it's an offering to a god, it's going to be difficult to get it."

Rose blinked. "The military men have been talking about it because it's got an alchemic symbol on it. They were going to call in a specialist from Central."

"Well, we have an alchemist," Bulma said. "Does that count?"

Everyone looked at Ed.

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Back in Central, Sloth was on her way to the Fuhrer's office when she passed by Mustang, Havoc, and Hughes, talking amongst themselves.

"...really think it'll work?" Hughes was asking.

"'Course it will," Havoc replied. "That dragon's a god, isn't he? If he says that the Elrics can wish their bodies back, then they can."

"So all they gotta do is collect our world's Dragonballs and wish?" Hughes asked.

"Not quite," Mustang interjected.

"Huh?" Hughes and Havoc chorused.

"The dragon also stated that they needed to _undo_ the alchemy. 'Gather the results'--"

Sloth's breath hitched.

"--'and undo their work', was the exact wording."

"Whaddya think he meant by 'results'?" Havoc asked.

Mustang paused. "...No idea."

As the three men turned their conversation to other topics, Sloth leaned against the side of the hallway. "Gather the results, and undo?" She shook her head and left, once again heading for the Fuhrer's office.

Ah, Ms. Douglass, there you are," the Fuhrer greeted her.

"Where are the Elric brothers?" she inquired.

"They left a few days ago, to look for something."

Sloth's face darkened.

The Fuhrer, however, was looking at a piece of paper in his hand and didn't notice. He handed it to her.

"Here, what do you make of this?"

The paper was a request for an alchemic specialist to examine "a small green orb with an alchemic symbol in it."

Sloth frowned. _Could this be the 'Dragonball'?_

"Well?" the Fuhrer prompted, jolting her out of her thoughts.

Sloth tossed the paper back on to his desk. "Send the specialist. It could be dangerous. I'm going to take a few days off."

She turned and left.

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IWA: Well, there's Chapter 16, for you.

BK: Yay! Typed! Now to post it...


	17. Capture

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:**

IWA: Since I'm updating so fast, BK doesn't have time to write disclaimers. Don't expect anymore funny ones in this story.

BK: Standard disclaimer applies.

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_

**Last time:**

"Well?" the Fuhrer prompted, jolting her out of her thoughts.

Sloth tossed the paper back on to his desk. "Send the specialist. It could be dangerous. I'm going to take a few days off."

She turned and left.

**Chapter ****17: Capture**

Al watched worriedly as Ed trudged along in front of him. They were on their way to the temple of Leto to retrieve the Dragonball. Al sighed as he remembered how the two of them go to be there.

They had all been at Rose's when Bulma suggested that they should probably go get the Dragonball.

"Mirai, Gohan, help Rose clean up. Goku, stop playing with the kids. Vegeta--"

"Bulma," Ed had interrupted. "Can I go alone?"

Bulma had stopped and looked at Ed worriedly. "I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

Ed had shaken his head. "I'm going alone."

"No, you're not," Al had informed him. "I'm going with you." Al had thought at the time that it wasn't a good idea to turn his brother loose on Liore in the mood he was in.

"But Al--"

"I'm going with you, nii-san."

And that's how Al wound up going to church with his disturbingly quiet and depressed nii-san.

When they got to the church, they were stopped by the soldiers posted outside. Ed showed them his pocketwatch and the soldiers immediately snapped to attention and saluted. They didn't have any more trouble after that.

The sanctuary, just like the rest of the church, was eerily quiet. The Dragonball was on the altar, surrounded by flowers and other offerings. Al walked over and picked it up. He turned back just as Ed spoke.

"Al..." His voice was pained.

"Nii-san?"

"What did we do wrong, Al?"

Al's eyes sofened as much as they could, what with him being a suit of armor and all.

"Nii-san..."

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Goku and the Brats were playing with the kids when the Elric brothers walked in. Ed was still obviously depressed, and Al was worried but silent.

"Alright, let's go," Ed said.

Bulma looked up from her book. "You have the Dragonball?"

Al nodded and held it up.

Bulma closed her book with a snap. "Right, then. Let's start packing up, guys!"

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Goku waved. "Bye guys!"

The kids waved back. "Bye!"

Rose snagged Ed's arm before he managed to get into the plane.

"Are you sure you're all right, Ed?"

"I'll be fine," he replied, pulling his arm back and boarding the plane.

Al hovered worriedly as his brother curled up in a window seat, staring morosely out the window.

"Nii-san?"

"But why... didn't he tell me?" Ed murmured.

"Nn?"

"Mustang. He must've known... so why..." Ed lapsed into silence.

Bulma walked out of the cockpit. She gazed at Ed for a minute, then pulled Al aside. "Is it really okay to just leave him like that?"

Al sighed. "There's nothing anyone can do. If he hasn't snapped out of it in a little while, I'll call Winry or Sensei for advice. Some quiet time may help."

Bulma nodded. "Alright. There's another Dragonball a ways away, but it's not moving and it's in the middle of nowhere, so why don't we head for that one?"

Al nodded, clanking. "Thanks, Bulma."

Bulma smiled and headed back into the cockpit.

Al looked around. Vegeta was stretched out on a couch with his eyes closed, glaring at anyone who came near him. Goku, Gohan, and Mirai were playing cards. Or rather, Gohan and Mirai were playing cards, and Goku was watching avidly and asking questions every two seconds. The Brats had headed off into the kitchen a while ago.

Al went over and joined the card game.

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Mustang was sitting in his office in Central, glumly signing papers, when Hawkeye opened the door.

"Sir, the Fuhrer's secretary is here to see you."

Mustang looked up, put aside the paper he'd been reading, and stood up.

A woman wearing a cream-colored knee-length pencil skirt, a matching vest, and a green shirt with her chestnut brown hair pulled over her left shoulder walked in. "The Fuhrer wishes to see you, Colonel."

"Very well," Mustang replied, walking around his desk and accompanying her out the door.

"What does the Fuhrer want to see me about?" Mustang asked after a few minutes.

They turned a corner.

"The Fuhrer does not wish to see you. I do."

"What?" Mustang asked, bewildered.

"I require information."

"From me."

She smiled.

"And if I do not wish to give you such information?"

The Fuhrer's personal secretary glanced at him, amused. "My dear Colonel, I don't need _you_ for information..."

They turned another corner and Mustang walked into a strange-smelling piece of cloth. As his sight went dark, he heard her say, "...you're just the bait."

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A few hours later, the plane stopped and Bulma walked out of the cockpit holding the Dragon Radar.

"Okay, we are directly on top of the Dragonball." She walked over and opened the door. "One of you Saiyans go get it." She turned and held out the radar.

Vegeta opened one eye and gave her the There-Is-No-Way-In-All-The-Hells-You-Could-Make-Me-Do-That Glare (TM).

Goku, on the other hand, bounced over excitedly. "I'll go! I'll go!" He bounced out the door and disappeared.

Bulma blinked, then looked at the radar she still held. After a minute, Goku sheepishly flew up to the plane again.

"Um, where is it?"

Bulma rolled her eyes and handed the Dragon Radar to him with a grin. "Right beneath us, Goku."

He disappeared again.

A few minutes later, the Brats came out of the kitchen and approached Bulma.

She turned to them. "What?"

"...We're hungry," Goten told her.

"There's food in the kitchen."

"Not anymore," Trunks informed her.

Bulma heaved something that was part sigh and part growl. "Alright, we'll stop at the nearest town for the night."

Goku popped back into the plane, holding the Dragonball up triumphantly.

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In the inn's restaurant, the group was having dinner. The rest of the cusomers had stopped eating and were staring slack-jawed at the Saiyans. Ed had taken a few bites and then started pushing the food around on his plate.

Trunks, sitting next to him, eyed Ed's meal, having finished his own already.

"You gonna eat that?"

"No."

Trunks shugged grabbed the plate, and wolfed down everything on it.

Al quietly got up and walked over to the manager.

"Can I use your phone, please?"

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"...and now nii-san's all depressed and he's not even _eating_..."

_"That _does_ sound serious,"_ Winry replied over the phone. _"Hey, describe that 'Dragonball' thing again?"_

"It's a 6-inch-diameter sphere. It's dark green with a blue alchemic symbol in it."

_"I _thought_ so. We've got one here."_

"...Wha-at?"

_"One of the kids found it. It came up during plowing. Since you guys are the only alchemists they knew of, they brought it here, figuring you'd drop by eventually."_

"...Oh."

_"So I take it you'll be by in the next few days?"_

"...Sure."

_"I'll tell Granny to make up some extra beds, then. Bye, Al."_

"..."

/click/

Al stood there for minute, then headed back to the group and talked to Bulma. "We're heading for Resembool."

She blinked. "Why?"

"Because one of the two people in the world who can slap nii-san out of that--" he jerked his thumb at Ed, who was staring off into space "--is there, and they found a Dragonball."

Bulma blinked. "Resembool it is, then."

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IWA: And that's the next chapter! Sorry, I forgot to update yesterday, and I nearly didn't get to today. My brother was on my computer. He should get his back sometime this week, tho'. (cheers) Yay!


	18. Trap

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** Standard issue.

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_

**Last time:**

Al stood there for minute, then headed back to the group and talked to Bulma. "We're heading for Resembool."

She blinked. "Why?"

"Because one of the two people in the world who can slap nii-san out of that--" he jerked his thumb at Ed, who was staring off into space "--is there, and they found a Dragonball."

Bulma blinked. "Resembool it is, then."

**Chapter ****18: Trap**

When Mustang woke up, the first thing he noticed was that his back hurt. Then he realized that he was sitting in a rather uncomfortable wooden chair. And that his coat, gun, and gloves were gone. He gried to stretch his legs and hissed when ropes bit into his calves. So he was _tied_ to the chair. What fun.

He looked up to examine his surroundings. Wooden floor, wooden walls, broken windows, wooden rafters, roof... Oh, joy. He was in a dilapidated shack. With the Fuhrer's secretary, what's-her-name... oh, right. Juliet Douglass.

He blinked and shook his head a bit. He was still a little muzzy.

"Good morning, Colonel," Ms. Douglass greeted him amicably.

"I was out for that long?"

"Yes. It appears my assistant was rather overzealous with the chloroform."

"Your... assisstant?" Mustang asked, looking around the one-room shack again and seeing no one besides himself and Juliet, who laughed softly.

"He is not here. He has been paid for his service, and wisely took his leave," she informed him.

Mustang started stretching his wrists and hands.

"When you captured me, you mentioned that I was to be used as bait. May I inquire as to who for?"

"The Elrics, of course."

"The Elrics," Mustang repeated. "What does the Fuhrer's secretary want with the Elric brothers?"

"That is my business and my business alone," Ms. Douglass informed him coldly.

The Flame Colonel decided to do some digging. He stretched his arms. "I must admire your bravery, knocking me out, and then going so far as to remove my gun and gloves, _and_ tie me to a chair," he said with a smirk.

One of Juliet's hands turned to liquid, then shot out and nailed him in the chest, nearly knocking the chair over.

"Never question a lady's strength," she advised him mildly. Her arm returned to normal. "Now. Do you have a way to contact the Elrics?"

Mustang's mind was reeling as he gasped for breath. This woman was clearly a homunculus, and she worked in the military. _How high up does it go?_ he wondered.

Then he remembered that Ed was in the company of six extremely powerful non-human warriors, which could probably take down one homunculus.

"...I have a phone."

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Bulma landed the plane behind the Rockbell house. As soon as she saw it, Winry ran out squealing. She waited until someone (in this case Gohan) got out before she started firing questions, though.

"Oh my God! That is so cool! How does it work?"

Gohan blinked. "Uhh..."

She turned to the Brats, who'd gotten off second. "How does it fly? What is it made of? What kind of engines does it have?"

The Brats gaped at her.

Winry rounded on Vegeta. "How high does it go? Is it steel? Chrome? Does it have any weapons?"

Vegeta glared at her and proceeded to ignore her.

Goku came out next with Mirai. "How do the engines work? What kind of fuel do they use? How powerful are they?"

Winry nearly pounced on Bulma. "Does the shape of the wings make a difference? What are they made of? How do you account for wind resistance?"

The next (and last) people off were Ed and Al. Winry saw them and froze. Ed gave her a wan smile.

"Hey. Kinda weird to be here without my arm being totally trashed."

Winry's eyes started to water. "How can you stay that, you big jerk!"

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A few hours after the plane had been capsulized (which provoked another round of rapid-fire questions from Winry), everyone had gathered in the Rockbell's kitchen. Bulma and Pinako were talking about motherly/grandmotherly things (mixed with machinery, of course), Mirai and Gohan had restarted their earlier card game, Goku was playing with Den, and the Brats were flipping through some photo albums when Ed and Winry came downstairs. Ed was holding the fourth Dragonball and looking slightly bloody, but generally much better than he had been. Winry's eyes were a bit red from crying and she was massaging her right wrist.

"Where's Al?" Ed asked, looking around.

"He went to visit your mother's grave," Pinako supplied.

"Yeah... He didn't get to go the last time we were here. I'll go meet him there." Ed handed the Dragonball to Bulma and left.

Sure enough, Al was at Trisha's grave. Ed walked over and stood next to him.

"Hey."

"Hey. Feel better, nii-san?"

Ed nodded. "Yeah. Winry gave me a talking to. And a couple wrenches."

Al winced sympathetically, then turned to look at him. "You really had me worried there, nii-san. I haven't seen you like that since Mom died."

Ed cringed. "Yeah, sorry."

"It's alright?"

The two brothers stayed there in companionable silence until the sun set.

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The next morning during breakfast, a phone started ringing. Everyone except the Saiyans looked up. (The Saiyans—and Ed, actually—were too busy eating to notice.)

The phone rang again. They all turned to Bulma.

"That's funny, I asked them not to call unless it was an emergency..." She flipped her cellphone open. "Hello?"

"_Hi, Bulma, it's Mustang. I need to talk to Ed."_

Bulma blinked, then hit the 'speaker' button and held the phone out to Ed. "Ed, it's the Colonel."

Ed frowned and reached for the phone. "He _never_ calls me... Hi Mustang. It's me."

"_Hello, Ed. Search going well?"_

Ed's frown deepened. "...Yeah, so what's the matter?"

"_Oh, nothing too major, but something's come up and I need you back in Central for a bit. I believe Ms. Briefs can track my location?"_

"Yes, but—" Ed started.

"_Then I'll be seeing you soon."_

"Mustang, what the hell do you need me for??"

"_There's someone who wants to talk to you,"_ Mustang replied vaguely. _"I really must get going."_

"Wait—"

"_Give my best to Alphonse."_

/click/

Ed turned off the phone and frowned at it. "It's a trap," he announced.

There was a general "Wha-at?"

Ed looked around. "You were listening?"

"Yes."

"Were we fighting?"

"..No."

"Trap!" Ed scowled. "Plus Mustang NEVER calls me Ed. Ever."

Al blinked. "That's true."

"And he said something about 'someone wanting to talk to me' which means he was probably pressured into calling us. So..."

"Trap," Vegeta and Gohan finished. Vegeta glared at the teen demi-Saiyan for pre-empting his line. Gohan didn't notice.

Bulma nodded. "Well, that settle it. We're going to rescue the Colonel." she rounded on the Brats. "And you two are STAYING HERE," she ordered in an I-Am-Married-To-A-Saiyan-And-I-Am-Armed-With-A-Frying-Pan-Therefore-You-Will-Obey-Me Voice.

"Yes, Bulma," the Brats chorused meekly.

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And that's Chapter 18. Hopefully I'll be able to keep posting chapters one a day. I have finished the story. I'll start a chapter countdown once we get to five chapters from the end.


	19. Rescue

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** Standard issue.

**Chapter countdown:** 5 chapters left

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_

**Last time:**

"And he said something about 'someone wanting to talk to me' which means he was probably pressured into calling us. So..."

"Trap," Vegeta and Gohan finished. Vegeta glared at the teen demi-Saiyan for pre-empting his line. Gohan didn't notice.

Bulma nodded. "Well, that settle it. We're going to rescue the Colonel." she rounded on the Brats. "And you two are STAYING HERE," she ordered in an I-Am-Married-To-A-Saiyan-And-I-Am-Armed-With-A-Frying-Pan-Therefore-You-Will-Obey-Me Voice.

"Yes, Bulma," the Brats chorused meekly.

**Chapter 19: Rescue**

Ed looked out the window at the tiny wooden shack below them. "Okay, now we KNOW it's a trap, 'cause there's no way Mustang would be in _there_ of his own free will."

"True," Al agreed.

"Okay," Mirai stated, looking around at them. "Dad, you and Goku go in there and get whatever it is that's holding Colonel Mustang, and Gohan and I will get him out. And Ed and Al—"

"Are to stay _on_ the plane and out of the way unless there is an emergency," Ed and Al chorused, neither looking too happy about the prospect.

"Right. Last thing we need is whatever's holding Mustang to get ahold of you," Mirai confirmed.

Gohan nodded. "Especially considering you're what they want…"

"Exactly."

"Give a shout once everyone's aboard!" Bulma called from the cockpit.

"Will do, Mom," Mirai called back.

The Saiyans headed out.

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Mustang and Juliet were engaged in a very pleasant staring contest when the door exploded.

The Fuhrer's secretary jumped to her feet just as a rather large ball of light caught her full in the chest, followed closely by several others. Gohan and Mirai flew in through the opening where the door used to be and headed for the tied-up Colonel.

"Problem," Gohan announced. "He's tied to the chair."

"So _take_ the _chair_," Mirai ordered, exasperated.

"I'd rather be untied from the chair, if it's all the same…" Mustang offered.

"It's not," Mirai informed him curtly, blasting the ceiling off.

Gohan grabbed Mustang and his chair and took off toward the hovering plane, followed closely by Mirai, Goku, and Vegeta. Once they were all in the door, Mirai called, "Mom, go!"

The plane lurched forward.

Ed cut Mustang free. "They tied you to a _chair_?" he asked incredulously.

"She, actually." Mustang stretched. "Did you know that the Fuhrer's secretary is a homunculus?"

"The Fuhrer's secretary?" Al asked. "I don't think we've met her."

"A homunculus? Are you sure?" Ed asked, intent.

"She turned her hands to WATER and _shot_ them at me, Fullmetal! _Yes_, I'm sure!"

The plane suddenly jerked.

"Something's hit the plane!" Bulma yelled.

Everyone rushed to the windows. Vegeta threw open the door.

On the ground near the destroyed shack, Juliet Douglass stood, arms pointed up at the plane. Or, at least, her sleeves were. Coming out of said sleeves were torrents of water curving up toward the plane and sinking into any cracks they could find. Not the door, though.

"That's her," Mustang stated.

Ed went quiet. Al gasped softly.

Loud swearing could be heard from the cockpit. "There's water in the engine!" Bulma shouted.

There was a general "What?!"

Mustang staggered into the cockpit.

Bulma was sitting in the pilot's seat, pressing buttons frantically. "Well, this should be interesting."

"Define 'interesting'," Mustang groaned.

"I was thinking somewhere along the lines of 'Oh God oh God we're all gonna die.' All right, people," she yelled over her shoulder, "the engine is flooded, so we will be experiencing some turbulence and then promptly blow up!" She paused. "And if every single Saiyan is not helping the other passengers, THERE WILL BE A RECKONING!!"

Gohan immediately snatched Ed and flew off. Gohan took a step toward Mustang, who backed up. The Saiyan warrior shrugged, turned, grabbed Al, and flew out the open door. Mirai got Mustang, and Vegeta ducked into the cockpit and pried Bulma out of the pilot's seat. "Come _on_, onna."

They landed in an open clearing in the forest off to the side and watched the smoking plane fly a bit longer, then explode.

"Ooh, fireworks!" Goku exclaimed.

"Um, no, Goku, that's our transportation blowing up," Al corrected him.

"Oh."

"So… Now what?" Mustang asked the world in general."

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Chapter 19! The end is in sight!


	20. Back to Resembool

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:**

it walks alone: (sings) Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me-ee, happy birthday to me!

All: (clap)

(There are cheers of "Happy birthday, IWA!)

IWA: It's my birthday! This is my birthday present to me. And by the way, I don't own any of it.

**Chapter countdown:** 4 chapters left

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_

**Last time:**

"Ooh, fireworks!" Goku exclaimed.

"Um, no, Goku, that's our transportation blowing up," Al corrected him.

"Oh."

"So… Now what?" Mustang asked the world in general."

**Chapter 20****Back to Resembool**

"Whaddya mean, 'now what'?" Bulma asked.

"Well…" Mustang replied, "the plane's gone."

"Yeah," Bulma agreed. "_That_ plane. I've got more." She pulled her capsule case out of her jacket pocket and opened it. "Let's see… This one should do." She pushed the button on top and threw the capsule.

/poof/

And suddenly there was a plane.

Mustang stared. "Umm…"

They boarded the plane. Bulma disappeared into the cockpit again.

"So that's a homunculus, huh?" Mirai asked once they were airborne.

"Yeah," Al agreed. "And not just _any_ homunculus."

"Hmm?"

"…That was our _mom_," Ed explained.

Everyone stared at the two brothers.

"Yeah." Al fidgeted.

"Are you sure?" Mirai asked.

"Positive. That was definitely our mother," Ed confirmed.

"But if she's a homunculus, then…" Gohan started.

"That must mean that homunculi are created when someone tries to raise the dead with alchemy," Ed finished.

Al turned to Mustang. "Did she say why she captured you?"

"She said she required information, but that I was just the bait. I asked why she wanted to talk to you two, but she wouldn't tell me."

"Wait— If she's a homunculus…" Gohan said, thinking out loud.

"Yes…" Ed agreed.

"And she was created when you and Al tried to raise your mom…"

"We think so…"

"Then isn't she the 'results' that Shenlong mentioned?" Gohan finished.

"'Results'?" Ed parroted, lost.

"Don't you remember?" Mirai asked him. "'Gather the results and undo the alchemy'?"

"Oh yeah! But… does that mean we have to capture her?" Al asked timidly.

"Capture and _contain_," Mirai corrected.

"How do we contain her if she can turn her whole body into water?" Ed demanded.

"Good question!" Gohan replied.

"Got an answer?" Mustang asked him.

Gohan shrugged. "Stick her in an airtight jar?"

Everyone sweatdropped.

"We'll have to work on that…" Ed concluded.

"Yeah…" Al agreed.

Mustang sat down. "So how goes the search?"

"Pretty good, actually," Al answered. "We've found four so far."

"Where were they?"

"Resembool, Xenotime, middle of nowhere, and…" Al trailed off.

"And?" Mustang prompted.

"Liore," Ed said quietly.

The Flame Alchemist winced. "Oh."

Ed looked him straight in the eye. "We need to talk." He dragged the older man through a door.

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They landed in Resembool a few hours later. Winry was bouncing in the backyard by the time they got there, having heard them coming. This time, though, she waited for Bulma to get off before she started asking questions.

"This isn't the same plane as before! What happened to the other one?"

"It got blown up," Bulma replied.

"Eh?" Winry asked, totally confused.

"It's a long story."

"Oh. So, what's different about this one?"

Bulma took her off to the side to answer, because no one else (with the possible exception of Mirai and Gohan) would understand (IWA: Or appreciate, for that matter.) the resulting technobabble. (IWA: And yes, that is a technical term. They actually used that in Star Trek TNG scripts for Geordi when he had to explain a problem before they worked it out. ;)

Winry looked over as the last passengers disembarked.

"Oh, hi, Colonel Mustang!" she called, waving.

He smiled back and would have waved, but Ed shoved him from behind as he was blocking the exit.

Goku was greeted by Den, and the two of them went back to roughhousing as if they hadn't even left.

Vegeta simply stalked past everyone and into the house.

Once everyone had gotten off the plane, Bulma capsulized it (earning many awed exclamations and a declaration of hero-worship from Winry) and they all trooped inside.

After a late lunch, Mustang called Military HQ in Central to tell Hawkeye he hadn't died or dropped off the face of the planet while he was away, then got on a train for Central.

They all bid Winry and Pinako goodbye, Bulma uncapsulized the plane, and they all got on board. Once airborne, Vegeta started 'training' the Brats (BK: Read: 'beating up'), Ed took a nap, Goku floated around amusing himself by making little patterns on the ceiling, and Gohan and Mirai started teaching Al how to play poker. (IWA: Al has got the best poker face. All he has to do is not go all demon- or chibi-ized.)

After a while, the plane stopped and Bulma climbed out of the cockpit. "Alright, who's up for some scuba diving?"

Everyone stared at her. "Huh?"

"We're over the ocean now, and the Dragonball is right below us," she explained.

"I'll go!" Goku volunteered.

"You went last time."

"I'll—" Trunks started.

"Over my dead body you will," Bulma growled at him. The lavender-haired chibi pouted.

Vegeta appeared glaring in the doorway, dripping wet and holding the fifth Dragonball.

Bulma blinked. "Well, that solves _that_ problem."

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	21. Dublith

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** Standard issue.

**Chapter countdown:** 3 chapters left

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_

**Last time:**

Vegeta appeared glaring in the doorway, dripping wet and holding the fifth Dragonball.

Bulma blinked. "Well, that solves _that_ problem."

**Chapter 2****1****Dublith**

Vegeta walked through the group, dropping the Dragonball in Ed's lap along the way, and left to find a towel.

Ed blinked at the 6-inch sphere that was slowly soaking his pants. (BK: And they're leather! Leather!)

"Okay, then, we now have two Dragonballs left, and one of them is moving," Bulma announced.

"Moving?" Al asked, confused.

"Yes. It's stayed in the general Central area, but it's definitely moving, which means someone is carrying it around with them. It'll be easiest to go after that last," the blue-haired genius explained.

"'Cause we'll probably have to fight for it, and that's rarely pleasant," Mirai chimed in.

"I disagree," Trunks interjected.

"You don't count," Bulma snapped.

Trunks pouted. Goten patted him on the back.

"Alright, so where's the stationary Dragonball?" Ed asked.

"Dublith, looks like," Bulma said, checking the Radar.

Ed and Al's eyes went wide. They looked at each other and shuddered.

Gohan blinked at them. "Something wrong?"

"…Kinda," Al replied in a tiny voice that sounded _very_ strange coming from a 7-foot-tall suit of armor.

Vegeta looked over from where he was toweling off his hair. "Well, out with it."

Ed's eyes were still wide and his was trembling slightly. "…Our teacher lives there. She's kinda… violent."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"So she usually beats us up every time we go there," Al finished with another shudder.

Bulma gave the two brothers a strange look. "That _cannot_ be a healthy relationship."

"Oh, and yours and Dad's is?" Mirai interjected dryly.

"Quiet, you."

Ed sighed. "We might as well get it over with, she's gonna find out sometime. And hey, maybe she'll be glad enough that we're not after the Philosopher's Stone anymore that she won't beat us up too badly."

"Yeah, maybe," Al conceded, but not very hopefully.

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A few hours later found the DBZ crew staring at Ed, Al, and their teacher.

"YOU IDIOTS!" yelled Izumi Curtis, throwing Al into a wall.

Ed went deer-in-headlights even as his arm came up to block Izumi's kick. "Sensei, wait!"

"_Don't_ call me Sensei! I expelled you, remember?!" Her second kick connected, sending Ed flying backwards.

"Yeah, but—" Ed started.

"Sensei, please!" Al pleaded, running back into the thick of things.

"If you two want more information about the Stone, you're gonna have to get it from somewhere else!"

The DBZ crew _stared_. (IWA: Even Vegeta! BK: Yeah, he's not used to women being _this_ forceful.)

"She really _is_ violent," Goten whispered.

"Uh-huh," Trunks agreed.

"WE'RE NOT AFTER THE STONE ANYMORE!!" Ed yelled.

Izumi paused and glared at them. "You're not?"

"No! We've found another way!" Al explained.

Izumi looked doubtful for a moment. Then blood started gushing out of her mouth. Sig hurried over with her medicine and got her into bed.

Ed and Al introduced the others, then started explaining about the Dragonballs."

"—so the sixth one is somewhere in Dublith and—"

"I've got it, actually," Izumi informed them.

The Elric brothers stared at her. "Eeh?"

"I found it in the mountains during my training and thought it would make a good memento."

"Great!" Ed exclaimed, ecstatic. (IWA: Alliteration! …And completely on accident, I assure you.) "So can we have it?"

"I didn't say that. I know you two are planning to wish yourselves normal, but do you know exactly how? The exact phrasing of your wishes, so you get what you want?"

"…No," Al replied.

"I didn't think so," their teacher said, crossing her arms. "Well, decide. The dragon gives three wishes, correct? Well, until you two figure out _exactly_ what you're gonna say to that thing, you don't get this… Dragonball. Take as much time as you need."

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After dinner, Ed and Al started figuring out the phrasing of their wishes.

"So, three wishes…" Ed mused.

"And lots to ask for," Al sighed.

"Shenlong said we should 'gather the results' of our transmutation…"

"The homunculus," Al supplied, making a note on the sheet of paper in front of him.

"And undo the alchemy…" Ed continued. "That's a different transmutation circle entirely! We don't have time to figure that out!"

"We need the house, too," Al added.

"Eh?"

"The dragon said to go to the place the alchemy was performed. That's the house."

Ed groaned. "There's _another_ wish."

"…Nii-san?"

"Yeah, Al?"

"Well, my body's just sitting at the gate, right?"

"…Yeah…" Ed said, not liking where this was going.

"…Does stuff… _age_ there?" Al asked.

"Oh, _crap_. I didn't even think of that." Ed slammed his head into the table. "Rrrg, this is gonna take FOREVER."

"Let's see, we need the house, new circle, contained homunculus, and possibly my body aged…" Al listed, counting on his fingers.

Ed beat his head on the table repeatedly. His brain cells cried out in agony, but he ignored them.

"Hey, Goku, c'mere a second!" Al called.

Ed looked up. "Goku? What do we need Goku for?"

The resident Saiyan idiot stuck his head in the door, then floated the rest of the way in. "Yes?"

"I've got a question about wishes," Al told him.

"Yeah?"

"Can we get two things in one wish?"

"If they're phrased right and related," Goku confirmed.

"So… could we wish our house intact, with the reversed transmutation circle in place of the old one?" Al asked.

"Yeah, probably."

"Perfect. Thanks, Goku."

The Saiyan waved and floated out the door.

"Al, you're a genius," Ed gushed.

"So…" Al said, writing. "Wish one: the house back with the new circle. Then we wish the homunculus to be contained in the center of the circle, then undo the alchemy, and you transfer my soul. And if my body isn't aged, then we wish it to how old I should be."

"And if there's problems with the soul transfer, we'll wish that instead," Ed finished, excited. "Let's go see Sensei."

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And that's Chapter 21! Wow, can you believe it's gotten this long? When we started it, we didn't expect it to take off like this…


	22. The Last Dragonball

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** Standard issue.

**Chapter countdown:** 2 chapters left

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_

**Last time:**

"So…" Al said, writing. "Wish one: the house back with the new circle. Then we wish the homunculus to be contained in the center of the circle, then undo the alchemy, and you transfer my soul. And if my body isn't aged, then we wish it to how old I should be."

"And if there's problems with the soul transfer, we'll wish that instead," Ed finished, excited. "Let's go see Sensei."

**Chapter 2****2****The Last Dragonball**

The plane flew slowly over Central City, working its way around.

"You don't suppose the military has it?" Gohan asked apprehensively.

"Nah, they'd keep it in a vault somewhere, not carry it around," Ed reassured him.

The plane stopped. "It's somewhere in a hundred-foot radius of here," Bulma called. "Let's go."

The Saiyans ferried people out. Bulma capsulized the plane.

They started wandering, following Bulma and the Radar.

They turned another corner. "There," the bluenette announced.

They all looked ahead. Gluttony was sitting in the middle of the alleyway. He blinked at them.

Ed and Al stared.

"It doesn't look like he has pockets…" Goku said.

"He doesn't," Gohan replied weakly.

"So… it must be…" Al trailed off.

"In his stomach," Ed finished.

Gluttony grinned.

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They were all sitting in a hotel room, stunned.

"Well, that explains why it was moving," Mirai offered.

"How're we supposed to get a Dragonball out of a homunculus's stomach?" Ed demanded.

"Maybe if we tie him up and just stick him with the other Dragonballs…" Gohan mused.

Al shook his head. "We don't know what's inside that thing, but I don't think it's a regular stomach."

"GAAAH!" Ed yelled. "We were so close!"

Bulma snapped her fingers, ignoring Ed and Al's wince. "I've got it! Give me the Radar and the bag of Dragonballs!"

Ed gave her a weird look but handed them over anyway. "Uh… okay."

Bulma disappeared into the next room.

"What was _that_ about?" Al asked, staring at the door.

Mirai grinned. "I know that face."

"Huh?" Ed asked, lost.

"That's Mom's _inventing_ face."

Ed blinked. "She's gonna invent something that'll get the Dragonball out of Gluttony's stomach?"

"She's gonna try," Mirai replied, still grinning.

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Five or six hours later, Bulma reemerged. "I," she announced, "am a genius! I can't believe I didn't think of this before!"

"What?" Ed asked.

"Behold the Dragon Catcher!" Bulma dropped the… thing on the coffee table. It looked like a remote control with a rather smaller version of the Dragon Radar and a couple buttons on it, and a set of prongs off the front end.

Blank looks all around.

"It summons Dragonballs!" she explained.

Jaws dropped.

"Watch," she said, taking a Dragonball out of the bag and tossing it to Ed, and the bag to Vegeta. "Keep that closed, will you?" she asked the latter. "She pointed the Catcher at Ed and pressed a button. The prongs started vibrating, electrical shocks showing between them. The Dragonball zoomed out of Ed's hand and stuck there between the prongs.

"Woah," Ed volunteered, looking between the Catcher and his hand.

Al clapped his hands. "Perfect! Let's go find Gluttony!"

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The Brats, Goku, and Gohan stayed behind and guarded the bag of Dragonballs while the rest of them—Vegeta, Bulma, Mirai, Ed, and Al—went off looking for Gluttony.

When they found him, Vegeta and Mirai pounced. After a brief scuffle, Vegeta wound up sitting on Gluttony's legs and pinning his arms down while Mirai pried the homunculus's jaws open.

Bulma stuck the Catcher's prongs between Gluttony's jaws and pressed the 'On' button.

The Sin convulsed, and a blood-covered sphere shot into the Catcher's current.

Bulma pulled the Catcher out of Gluttony's mouth and looked at the Dragonball. "Eew…"

Ed clapped his hands and touched the Dragonball, disintegrating the blood.

"That's it!" Al announced.

Vegeta and Mirai let Gluttony go and stood up. Gluttony ran off, confused.

"Alright, we got all seven. Back to Resembool!" Ed cheered.

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And they summon the Dragon in the next chapter! I'd like to see what you all think it'll look like. If you could include in your reviews a description of what you think the Amestris Dragon God will look like, I'd be much pleased! …Wait, I said that wrong, didn't I? Oh well, you get my point. And if I find a description that I like better than the one I've already got, I'll use it! Oh, and you can suggest names for it, as well. I made one up, but if you think you can come up with a better one, do tell!


	23. The Dragon God

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** Standard issue.

**Chapter countdown:** 1 chapter left

**A/N:** Since no one gave me any ideas for the dragon god, I just went with what I already had. v.v I'd hoped for some input. Is that too much to ask? (puppy eyes) Or do you guys not read the author's notes at the end of the chapter?

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_

**Last time:**

"That's it!" Al announced.

Vegeta and Mirai let Gluttony go and stood up. Gluttony ran off, confused.

"Alright, we got all seven. Back to Resembool!" Ed cheered.

**Chapter 2****3****The Dragon God**

They hiked up the hill to the burnt remains of the Elric house.

"I still can't believe you guys burned down your own house," Goten said.

Ed scratched his head. "Yeah, that was pretty dumb, now that I think about it."

When they got to the house, Ed upended the bag of Dragonballs.

"I summon the dragon god!" Ed called out.

The sky turned dark. There was a huge flash of blue light from the Dragonballs that reminded Ed and Al forcefully of the light of a transmutation, and the dragon appeared.

"I am the dragon god Rasshuyen. Who dares to summon me?" it rumbled. It was the same dragon that was on military banners, green and blue like the Dragonballs.

Ed and Al looked at each other. "We do," they said. "Edward and Alphonse Elric."

The dragon looked them over. "Very well. What are your wishes?"

"How many wishes do you grant?" Al asked.

"Three."

"Right." Ed took a deep breath. "Our first wish is for you to restore the house that stood here four years ago to the way it was before we burned it down with one change—we want the transmutation circle reversed."

Rasshuyen blinked. "Define reversed."

"We want it changed so that it undoes the alchemy it did originally," Al explained.

The dragon god's eyes glowed blue and the house appeared. The tree nearby was still burnt, though.

"Done. What is your second wish?"

Ed looked grim. "We want the homunculus the _original_ circle created summoned and contained in the center of the new circle."

"And she can't be able to attack anyone or anything or break free," Al added.

Rasshuyen's eyes glowed. "Done."

Ed nodded. "We'll give you our third wish in a bit. Have to see how this goes, first." He turned to the DBZ crew. "Wait here."

He and Al went inside.

"It's so weird, being back here…" Al said, looking around.

Ed looked uncomfortable. "Let's get this over with."

"Okay."

They trooped into the room where they'd tried to bring back their mother. The transmutation circle on the floor was different, and Juliet Douglass, the Fuhrer's personal secretary, was standing in the middle of it, but nothing else had changed.

When she saw them, Juliet lunged, hit a barrier that glowed blue, and was flung back into the center of the circle.

Ed looked at her with morbid curiosity. "Which sin are you named for?" he asked her.

"…Sloth," she snarled, then started hurling insults at them.

Ed looked sick.

"C'mon, nii-san, she's not Mom," Al reassured him.

"…Yeah," Ed agreed. "Mom would never say stuff like that."

The Elric brothers took up their positions on the edge of the array, the same ones they'd used the first time, and activated the array.

The resultant flash of light was visible even to the group waiting outside.

In the center of the circle now, were the pile of ingredients they'd used and the container they'd put them in. Ed's 11-year-old leg lay off to one side, bleeding.

Al's body also lay there, 10 years old and very frail-looking.

Ed and Al walked over.

"This is really bizarre," Al murmured.

"Well…" Ed knelt next to his brother's flesh-and-blood body. "It's alive. It's breathing."

Al sat down next to him and took the helmet off. "Hurry, nii-san. I want to be able to feel again," he pleaded.

Ed clapped his hands and touched them to the blood rune in the armor. He then quickly turned, clapped, and pressed his hands to Al's living body just as the armor collapsed.

Al's eyes fluttered, then opened. He licked his lips. "Nii-san?" he croaked.

Ed gave a strangled cry and tackle-hugged him.

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A little while later, they stumbled out of the open front door, Ed supporting Al, both of them grinning widely.

The DBZ crew cheered.

Ed looked up at Rasshuyen. "One more wish, right?" he asked.

The dragon nodded.

"Okay. I want Al's body to be aged to what it would be if he hadn't lost it."

"Don't grow my nails, please," Al added.

The dragon's eyes glowed blue and Al suddenly put on a few inches, reaching the same height as his brother.

"Your wishes have been granted," Rasshuyen rumbled. "Fare thee well."

The dragon glowed bright blue and seemed to explode into six streaks of light. A six-inch-diameter stone fell into Ed's hand. He blinked at it, then turned to Al and realized something.

His hair was down to his butt.

Al pulled some over his shoulder. "Whups."

"We'll get it cut later," Ed said.

Al fingered the lock of hair. "I think I like it like this, actually."

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And here you have it: the second-to-last chapter! There will be an epilogue, though. I'm not counting that.


	24. Back to Normal

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** Standard issue.

**Chapter countdown:** Last Chapter!

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_

**Last time:**

"Your wishes have been granted," Rasshuyen rumbled. "Fare thee well."

The dragon glowed bright blue and seemed to explode into six streaks of light. A six-inch-diameter stone fell into Ed's hand. He blinked at it, then turned to Al and realized something.

His hair was down to his butt.

Al pulled some over his shoulder. "Whups."

"We'll get it cut later," Ed said.

Al fingered the lock of hair. "I think I like it like this, actually."

**Chapter 2****4****Back to Normal**

After Al changed into a spare set of Ed's clothes, the entire group trooped over to the Rockbell house.

Ed knocked and waited a bit.

Pinako opened the door and stared at them. "…Ed? Al?" She smiled. "So you managed it, did you?" She let them in, then called up the stairs. "Winry! We've got guests!"

"Coming!" There were a few clangs and some thumps as Winry came down the stairs. She stopped in front of Ed and Al. "Hey, Ed!"

The blond State Alchemist grinned. "Hey, Winry!" He looked at Al, who waved.

"Hi, Winry," he said.

Winry's eyes bugged out. "A—A—A—Al?!" She squealed and tackled the both of them. "You did it! You did it! You're back to normal!"

Ed winced from his spot on the floor. "Actually, Winry, Al's back to normal. I'm not." She looked at him, puzzled. He held up his right arm. "I still have my automail. Which, by the way, I need you to remove. Ports too."

Winry stared at him as if he'd grown another head. "What? Why?"

Bulma held up a small bean. "So that we can get Ed back to normal, too," she explained.

Winry gave her a You've-Got-To-Be-Kidding-Me Look, but as Bulma was the master of Looks, she wasn't affected. "A bean? A _bean_ is going to give Ed back his arm and leg?"

The blue-haired genius chuckled. "Not quite. This _magic_ bean is going to grow Ed a _new_ arm and leg—but we've got to get the automail ports off him first."

Winry turned to Ed, whom she was still lying on. "Are you sure these people are sane?" she asked him.

He chuckled. "Well, they were right about the Dragonballs, weren't they?"

Winry gave him a shrewd look. "Oh, is _that_ why the sky when dark at noon?"

Ed grinned. "Yup."

Winry blinked, not having expected that. "Oh." She got up off him. He followed. "So, are you _sure_ you want to do this?" she asked seriously.

"Yes," the blond State Alchemist replied just as seriously.

The teenage mechanic nodded and dragged him out of the room.

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A little while later found Al (he'd found a hair tie and pulled his hair back into a ponytail) sitting against the wall across from the room where Ed's automail ports were being removed.

Gohan came up next to him and winced as Ed screamed again.

Al shrugged, his knees pulled up to his chin. "Nii-san doesn't believe in anesthetics."

"Ah." The teen demi-Saiyan sat down.

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A few hours after that, Winry emerged from the room containing a now-quiet Ed, covered in blood. "Okay, the ports are out. You can feed him the 'magic bean' thing now," she informed Al and Gohan.

The latter stood up and entered the room, shutting the door behind him. Winry left to clean up. Al continued sitting there, watching the door.

About ten minutes later, Gohan came back out and smiled at Al. "You can go in now. He's sleeping."

Al smiled distractedly back and walked into the room where his brother lay. He had natural arms and legs, now. The scars he'd gotten from the automail surgery remained, though, seemingly as a reminder of what they'd gone through. Ed's face was peaceful.

Al sat by him and took his hand.

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An hour later, the DBZ crew plus Winry and Pinako were fidgeting in the kitchen when they heard slow, limping footsteps on the stairs. Everyone looked up.

Ed stood in the doorway, wearing a tank top and boxers—what he'd slept in—and leaning heavily on Al. Both were grinning happily.

Ed waved the hand that wasn't around Al's shoulders—his right hand—and said, "Hey, everyone, why the long faces?"

Winry squealed and tackled him. (IWA: Again. Seems to be happening a lot, doesn't it?)

Ed walked around the room a few times, testing out his new leg.

Pinako took a puff on her pipe. "Hmph. I wonder where we're going to get money now, since our main cash cow doesn't need us anymore."

Ed grinned at her. "Simple. Winry's the best mechanic I've ever met. I'm gonna tell anyone who needs automail to come here!"

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IWA: And the story is finished! Don't worry, though, there will be an epilogue! (does happy dance) Ed got his limbs back! Yay! (cheers)


	25. Epilogue

**Summary:** DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

**Disclaimer:** Standard issue.

"Speaking" _Thoughts_ (Me to you) _"Telephone or other such communication device"_

**Last time:**

Ed walked around the room a few times, testing out his new leg.

Pinako took a puff on her pipe. "Hmph. I wonder where we're going to get money now, since our main cash cow doesn't need us anymore."

Ed grinned at her. "Simple. Winry's the best mechanic I've ever met. I'm gonna tell anyone who needs automail to come here!"

**Chapter 2****5: Epilogue**

They went back to Central so that Bulma and the Saiyans could go home. The access point to Chikyuu was still in Mustang's office.

Ed and Al let them through Military Headquarters to Mustang's office. They met Hawkeye just outside.

"Hi Hawkeye," Ed greeted her.

"Hello, Lieutenant Hawkeye," Al said.

"Hello, Edward, Alph—" She froze with her hand on the door handle and turned to stare at Al, who smiled and waved.

Ed's grin turned predatory. "Hey, will you tell Mustang that they—" he jerked this thumb at the crowd behind them "—want to go home and need to use his office?"

Riza blinked a couple times, shook herself, and opened the door. "Sir, here's some more paperwork for you. And the group from Chikyuu would like to use your office to go home, sir," she informed her superior officer.

Mustang didn't even look up from signing papers. "Lovely. And tell them they can, so long as they don't destroy my desk _again_."

Ed and Al led the group into his office.

"Hello, Colonel," Alphonse greeted him.

Mustang stopped signing papers, having realized that Alphonse's voice sounded different, looked up, and stared at him. Al waved shyly.

Ed sat himself down on a couch and started taking his gloves off. "Oh, yeah, Mustang, did I mention in my report that it worked?"

Mustang's eyes shifted of their own accord and focused on Ed's right hand, which was holding the gloves.

"No, Fullmetal, you forgot that bit."

Ed grinned predatorily. "No, actually. I left it out for two reasons. One—to see if you were following my progress like you normally do and two—" He paused his grin widening. "To see you flabbergasted for once in your life."

Mustang glared at him childishly.

Ed burst out laughing.

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And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end. sniffs sadly I feel kinda bad about it, actually. I liked this story. Well, review, please. I'd like some feedback on how this turned out.


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